Talking Trash

By Lenny J. Ploffer

(Published in July 2010 Issue)

No matter where you live in the county, on the day after Independence Day, there’s bound to be a mess. And whether you join the legions of beach cleaners who volunteer for San Diego Coastkeeper, or you’re still flicking cigarette butts out of the car window, you’re bound to notice the debris.

Depending on which neighborhood you call home, here’s what you can expect to find the morning after the fireworks while picking up the pieces from America’s 234th birthday.

Gaslamp: Body glitter, VIPwrist-bands, hair extensions

North Park: Fake eyelashes (unisex), guitar pics, fedoras

Hillcrest: Probably not much (the place is sparkling for Pride), but perhaps some tossed-aside tiaras and rainbow American flags

Coronado: Viagra and denture removal ointment (not necessarily in that order)

Pacific Beach: Red plastic cups from all the house parties, tanning salon receipts, disposable fingernails, nightclub flyers

Ocean Beach: Actually, almost nothing-nearly everything found on the ground gets smoked, eaten or used as bait...except on Dog Beach, we hope.

La Jolla: Sea lion guano, tourists’ lens caps, cougars wandering since Jack’s closed

Del Mar: Diapers, sippy-cups, overalls and other carnie refuse from the fair

Rancho Santa Fe: Bentley key fobs, five-dollar bills, desperate housewives, foreclosure notices

El Cajon: Unsold Hummers; Budweiser cans; red, white and blue NASCAR paraphernalia

San Ysidro: Outlet mall shopping bags, shell casings, pulverized Obama piñatas

Mission Beach: Fake I.D.s, square-brimmed baseball caps (turned slightly sideways), empty kegs, the charred remains of a lifeguard tower