9/1-3: Colin Kane @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com
"Why get married and ruin one person's life, when you could keep dating and ruin so many more?" - Colin Kane on Twitter
9/8-11: Pablo Francisco @ American Comedy Co.,americancomedyco.com
"What's the job application at Hooters? They give you a bra: 'Here, fill this out.' " - Pablo Francisco on "Bits and Pieces"
9/10: Kathy Griffin @ California Center for the Arts, Escondido, artcenter.org
"I was raised right - I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners." - Kathy Griffin in "Official Book Club Selection"
9/16-17: Steve Simeone @ The Comedy Store, thecomedystore.com
"That's when you know you're getting drunk - when you 'beer goggle' yourself. You ever do that? You pass a mirror and you're like, 'oh s***' " - Steve Simeone in Irvine Improv show
9/22-24: Nick Thune @ American Comedy Co.,americancomedyco.com
"So crazy that Trump also gets a 33% applause ratio / didn't think we had anything in common" - Nick Thune on Twitter
9/23-24: Bret Ernst @ The Comedy Store,thecomedystore.com
"A man can never truly be a man until he's put a duvet on a comforter by himself. #husbandlife" - Bret Ernst on Twitter
9/30: Nemr Abou-Nassar @ Balboa Theatre, sandiegotheatres.org
"The most exciting thing about Pokémon Go is the porn that will eventually be based on it: Look! I found herpieslipuff! Gotta catch them all!" - Nemr Abou Nassar on Twitter
9/30-10/1: Theo Von @ The Comedy Store,thecomedystore.com
"My father was 70 years old when I was born. True story. It was kinda cool growing up with a dad in his 70s, because of the time we would spend. Shortly after I was born, my dad had a stroke. So we were both learning to walk at the same time. We used to play games like catch ... or don't." - Theo Von on "No Offense"
9/30: Paula Poundstone @ Humphreys by the Bay, humphreysconcerts.com
"I'm afraid when someone says they'll take me places I've never been before, the 1st place will be a mattress on their friend's garage floor." - Paula Poundstone on Twitter
9/30-10/2: James Adomian @ American Comedy Co.,americancomedyco.com
"Space is dumb. Stars and galaxies crashing onto each other. Morons." - James Adomian on Twitter