October Comedy Shows

10.1: Bob Saget @ Balboa Theatre,

“Sex isn’t everything. A healthy relationship is one where you talk & listen to the other person. Before you pay them to have sex with you.” - Bob Saget on Twitter

10.6-8: Aparna Nancherla @ American Comedy Co.,

“I find it very hard to be productive when you work from home. I feel like the closest thing I have to a boss is Netflix when it’s like, ‘Are you still watching?’ And I’m like, ‘Of course, I’m still watching! I’m never not watching! Stop micromanaging me! I’m your best employee. I take all your recommendations.’ ” - Aparna Nancherla on Conan

10.7-8: Adam Ray @ The Comedy Store,

“My buddy texted me two days ago - this is a true story - ‘Hey man, what ya doing?’ I go, ‘Chillin. Just cooked up some baby back ribs.’ My iPhone autocorrects it to ‘Chillin. Just cooked up some baby black kids.’ That’s not what I’m doing right now. That couldn’t be further from what’s f***ing happening right now.” - Adam Ray at the Laugh Factory

10.9: Blake Wexler @ American Comedy Co.,

“Colin Kaepernick is one of my least favorite players, but the National Anthem is one of my least favorite songs so I’m torn here.” - Blake Wexler on Twitter

10.14-16: Shawn Wayans @ American Comedy Co.,

“Donald Trump is white Kanye West. He’s always saying something to make you go, ‘What!? What is wrong with you!?’ ” - Shawn Wayans on Power 106 Los Angeles

10.14-15: Tom Rhodes @ The Comedy Store,

“I just spent a month in Asia, and the knowledge nugget that I have brought back for you from Asia is that the most beautiful women in the world are Thai men.” - Tom Rhodes at the New York Comedy Cellar

10.21-22: Erik Griffin @ The Comedy Store,

“This election is starting to feel like 145am at the club, last call, all the good ones are gone, just a hairy armed monster is left.” - Erik Griffin on Twitter

10.21-23: Brad Williams @ American Comedy Co.,

“Learning that the popular girl from your high school got fat is better than Christmas.” - Brad Williams on Twitter

10.27-29: Kurt Metzger @ American Comedy Co.,

“You know, human beings are the only animal in all of nature that sometimes shoves other animals up their ass.” - Kurt Metzger on Live at Gotham