Laughing Stock
Comedy Curator: Catlin Dorset
“I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, ‘denigrate’ means ‘put down.’” - Bob Newhart on The Bob Newhart Show
11.1: Bob Newhart @ Harrah’s Resort SoCal, harrahssocal.com
“So, over the months, I developed an eating disorder: I couldn’t stop eating Vicodin. That sh!t is delicious.” - Bobby Lee on Comedy Central’s Uncensored
11/5-7: Bobby Lee @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com
“Why would a pimple cream advertise ‘Maximum Strength.’ Shouldn’t that be the only kind? Who would buy minimum strength? - Darren Carter on Twitter
11/6-7: Darren Carter @ The Comedy Store La Jolla, thecomedystore.com
“Water discovered on Mars. I guess that means I can water my lawn for more than 38 seconds a week?” - Jimmy Pardo on Twitter
11/8: Jimmy Pardo @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com
“Sucks being a single guy, having a penis and no where to put it. Girls, you don’t know; you have a vagina. Walk the earth long enough, and someone’s gonna have sex with you, okay? It’s just a matter of time... and you lowering your standards a little bit.” - Chris Porter on Live at Gotham
11/13-14: Chris Porter @ The Comedy Store La Jolla, thecomedystore.com
“Peed next to Rick Springfield last week & he was wearing flip flops. 100% positive some of my pee ended up on his little toes. #jessesgirl.” - Nick Thune on Twitter
11/12-14: Nick Thune @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com
“I hate new couples, that’s what I hate. Old couples, you been together, I respect that. New couples, all that touching - f*** that. That’s bullshit. That ain’t real love; real love is when you been together and you don’t give a f*** about each other. That’s real love.” - Steve Wilson at the Comedy House
11/20-21: Steve Wilson @ The Comedy Store La Jolla, thecomedystore.com
“There’s a lot of white people in here. Boy, I ain’t seen this many white people in a minute. I like messing with white people; I ain’t gonna lie to you. I’m the type of brother that go in the white barbershop and say, ‘Anybody in here braid hair?’” -Lil Duval on Cedric the Entertainer: Starting Lineup
11/20-22: Lil Duval @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com
“The iPhone 2 led to the 3, but I didn’t get the 4 or 5 because I’m holding out for the 7, which I’ve heard on good authority can also be used as a Taser. This will mean I’ll have just one less thing to carry around.” - David Sedaris in Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls: Essays, etc.
11/22: David Sedaris @ Balboa Theatre, sandiegotheatres.org
“I like to leave my socks on during sex. What? What’s the big deal? It’s just me alone at the computer, what difference does it make if I leave my socks on? My tootsies get cold. It’s chilly in my parents’ basement.” - Doug Benson on Comedy Central Presents
11/25: Doug Benson @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com
“I’m thinking about having a sex change, but being both!! Then I can be Pauly or Pollyyyy!! Cool?” - Pauly Shore on Twitter
11/27-28: Pauly Shore @ The Comedy Store La Jolla, thecomedystore.com
“I don’t think black men should take Viagra; I think that’s just greedy. That’s sort of like Bill Gates playing the lottery. Enough’s enough, goddammit.” - Patrick DeGuire at The Ice House
11/27-28: Patrick DeGuire @ The Comedy Palace, thecomedypalace.com
“My name’s Piff the Magic Dragon. You might have heard of my older brother... Steve?” - Piff the Magic Dragon on America’s Got Talent
11/27-29: Piff the Magic Dragon @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com
Sign up for the Pacific Insider newsletter
PACIFIC magazine delivers the latest restaurant and bar openings, festivals and top concerts, every Tuesday.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Pacific San Diego.