For the Birds

Had Benjamin Franklin gotten his way, the turkey would be our national bird, and Michael Vick would be getting concussions with the Philadelphia Turkeys of the NFC East.

Hotel California would be on The Turkeys Greatest Hits CD.

“The Turkey has landed” would be the first words uttered on the moon.

Proud parents of high-achieving Boy Scouts would adorn their minivans with “My Son is a Turkey” bumper stickers.

The white-knuckle carrier of choice when hopping off to that magical weekend in Lubbock, Texas, would be American Turkey Airlines.