Endless Summer

(Published in the April 2010 issue)

Red and blue don’t just make a flag, they also make green. And if colors can do it, so?can we. Just in time for the 40th annual Earth Day on April 22, here are some simple things San Diegans are doing to help save the planet from global warming.

The Electric Slide?
By slamming on their brakes and not slowing down, La Jolla Prius owners discover perpetual motion. Proceeds from the sale of their company, Don’t Stop, net the inventors just enough money to keep their now half-priced homes out of foreclosure.

What the Truck??
Qualcomm Stadium promoters promise to allow only hybrid monster trucks.

Bay of Pigs?
Beach-area bar owners team up to drain Mission Bay, filling the empty beer bottles they’ve been stockpiling with the bay’s polluted water. The “bottled” water is then poured onto parched residential lawns (made that way by the City’s stringent sprinkler laws) and sold as Arrowhead.

Hold Your Breath?
Lakeside residents with teeth save water by limiting tooth-brushing to once a week.

Up in Smoke?
To reduce their neighborhood’s carbon footprint, O.B. residents pledge never to exhale.

Under Study?
SDSU promises to save water by drinking only beer.

Windy City?
Working with San Onofre City Council, Carlsbad manages to divert power from the Two Boobs nuclear facility to its own giant windmill, powering the outlet mall, the Flower Fields and half of North County.

Horsing Around?
By retrofitting their horses with the iStink (the latest in methane-catching technologies), Fairbanks Ranch property owners manage to compress and save enough natural gas to fuel their private jets.

Petco Perks ?
The Padres agree to carpool to home games, which has the added benefit of reducing DUI arrests on the 5 South.