Completely Booked

Photo by Jeff “Turbo” Corrigan

1. Building the library complex cost you and the rest of San Diego’s taxpayers $184.9 million. If you don’t at least go check it out, it will be a slap in the face... to yourself.

2. The new facility will house 60 percent more books than the old one. That’s more than 1.2 million options to rub all over your Kindle to make it smell authentic.

3. That metal dome on top of the building is known as the People’s Penthouse, and it’s common knowledge that anything goes in a penthouse.

4. The on-site bank of computers has quadrupled in size, which means up to 400 creepers can now have their porn searches blocked simultaneously.

5. The place will be stocked with four tons of candy and a few thousand lost puppies. Okay, that’s conjecture, but the library’s vision statement includes the following: “Imagine 40,000 children at Kid’s Day at the ballpark, spilling out of the game and walking across the street to the new Central Library...” What else would get the kids so fired up? Books?

6. The LEED Silver-certified property will have nine electric-vehicle charging stations, making it the perfect place to ditch your Car2go (see “In for a Ride”)

7. The library has a café that offers free WiFi. There is virtually zero chance that intelligence will rub off on you at Starbucks, but inside a cultural hub packed with more than a million books and... high schoolers? Sh!t, forgot about the high schoolers. Probably still work in a Starbucks.