Laughing stock: October comedy shows

Chris Hardwick. (Mike Coppola/Getty Images for Entertainment Weekly)
Chris Hardwick. (Mike Coppola/Getty Images for Entertainment Weekly)
(Mike Coppola / Getty Images for Entertainment)

Comedians performing at comedy venues around San Diego this month include Chris Porter, Eleanor Kerrigan and Chris Hardwick.

10.6-7: Jay Larson

“Wife: The hall light is out. Me: I know. Wife: What do you think it is? Long pause... Me: I think we should see other people.”

- Jay Larson on Twitter

@ The Comedy Store,

10.5-7: Dan Soder

“Russians are the scariest white people. They’ve earned it.”

- Dan Soder on Conan

@ American Comedy Co.,

10.13-14: Chris Porter

“The Texans defense f****d me over so bad in Fantasy Football that I’ve asked for all my Harvey donations back.”

- Chris Porter on Twitter

@ The Comedy Store,

10.12-14: Michelle Buteau

“My manager, she recently booked me in Utah. I don’t know if you ever heard of Utah. I didn’t. I was in Utah for 3 days - I’m not bragging - I did not see one black person for 3 days. Not a Mexican. Nothing brown. I got a manicure. They had white people doing nails. I’m like “Whaaaaaaaat?”

- Michelle Buteau at the Laugh Factory

@ American Comedy Co.,

10.18-19: Steve Trevino

“I’ve never lived in a city like Hollywood where you can walk up to an elevator and the people in the elevator will just stare at you while the doors close. Really? You can’t stick your arm out? You’re not better than me. We’re both going to Target.”

- Steve Trevino at the Brea Improv

@ The Comedy Store,

10.19-21: Chris Hardwick

“Kids are basically sex trophies.”

- Chris Hardwick on Just for Laughs

@ American Comedy Co.,

10.20: Felipe Esparza

“I love my dad. He used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico. So, it was cool growing up with him ‘cause when he hit us, he didn’t really hit us.”

- Felipe Esparza on Kush Comedy

@ Humphrey’s Concerts by the Bay,

10.25-26: Eleanor Kerrigan

“I have six brothers; I was always hanging out with them. Like, I didn’t know I was a girl until like a week ago. Mostly cuz I’m still waiting to develop. I am wearing three bras for you people right now, okay? There’s a chicken cutlet in here, all kinds of stuff. It’s like build-a-boob for me when I leave the house. It’s embarrassing.”

- Eleanor Kerrigan on Stand-up in Stilettos

@ The Comedy Store,

10.26-28: Joe Machi

“More and more research shows sitting down at work is bad for you. America needs work-beds!”

- Joe Machi on Twitter

@ American Comedy Co.,

10.28: Ron White

“My doctor reminds me of an old girlfriend, but her finger was much smaller.”

- Ron White on Twitter

@ Harrah’s Resort SoCal,