Laughing stock: November comedy shows

Brian Regan. (Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for Comedy Central)
(Bennett Raglin / Getty Images for Comedy Central)

Comedians performing at comedy venues around San Diego this month include Brian Regan, Heather McDonald and Nick Swardson.

11.3 K-Von

“I like Latinos, but Cholos, they’re the ones you don’t want to mess with. Cholos, alright, white people? They’re the ones with their names on their neck. Look for that. Sometimes you can’t tell because they dress nice. That’s a Cholo in a Polo. Watch out!”

- K-Von at The Ice House

@ The Comedy Palace,

K-Von (Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
K-Von (Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
(Valerie Macon / Getty Images)

11.3-4 Moshe Kasher and Natasha Leggero

“You guys like Costco? The membership fee is worth the high you get from the forklift exhaust. Kirkland diamonds, anyone? I’m not afraid to get my diamonds where I get my salsa. Tiffany’s is great, but I can’t eat a churro while I checkout.”

- Natasha Leggero on Live at Bimbo’s

“Ever since ‘you know who’ was elected, it feels like nothing is on fleek anymore.” - Moshe Kasher on Twitter

@ The Comedy Store,

Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher. (Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Comedy Central)
Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher. (Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Comedy Central)
(Jesse Grant / Getty Images for Comedy Central)

11.7 Brian Regan

“I don’t understand nutrition. I heard that nutritionists on the radio say something like, ‘You should eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.’ But I think I wrote it down wrong, because I eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a hippopotamus, dinner like an 800-pound gorilla and midnight snack like 25-ton humpback whale.”

- Brian Regan on Live from Radio City Music Hall

@ Balboa Theatre,

Brian Regan. (Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for Comedy Central)
(Bennett Raglin / Getty Images for Comedy Central)

11.9-11 Bobby Lee

“You know what I’m tired of? People who go into detail about their ethnicity and nationality. I don’t give a f***k what you are. People who go into detail, like, ‘I’m half-German, a quarter-Irish, part-Navaho Indian.’ You’re f*****g white! Just say white! I ran into a girl today, she was like, ‘I’m half-Chinese, half-Mexican.’ You’re Filipino. Just say Filipino!”

- Bobby Lee at The Laugh Factory

@ American Comedy Co.,

(Picasa / )

11.10-11 Tony Hinchcliffe

“RIP Hugh Hefner. Asses to asses, bust to bust.”

- Tony Hinchcliffe on Twitter

@ The Comedy Store,

Tony Hinchcliffe. (Courtesy photo)

11.17-18 Heather McDonald

“Right now, my sons are in that stage, you know that horrible stage: organized sports. Talk about f*****g up a girl’s weekend. I’m pretty much praying that neither of them succeeds at anything. It’s like, ‘No, I don’t really want to get in an RV and go to Bakersfield with the soccer team. No, I don’t. I hope you lose. I really do.’”

- Heather McDonald on I Don’t Mean to Brag

@ American Comedy Co.,

Heather McDonald. Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Love is Louder)
(Randy Shropshire / Getty Images for Love is Louder)

11.17-19 Nick Swardson

“Saw someone with a ‘My Warmup is Your Workout’ shirt. Well, my casual drinking is your alcohol poisoning, so f**k you.”

- Nick Swardson on Twitter

@ The Comedy Store,

Nick Swardson. (Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)
(Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images)

11.24-25 Pauly Shore

“A short list of all the things I’ve ever cared about: nugs, chillin’, grindage.”

- Pauly Shore on Twitter

@ The Comedy Store,

Pauly Shore. (Brad Barket/Getty Images for 90sFEST)
(Brad Barket / Getty Images for sFEST)

11.24-26 Rex Navarrete

“It’s really weird and really cool to be Filipino, but people always want me to explain what Filipino is. Basically, we’re an influence of so many cultures, from Asia, Malaysia, Europe and you know what? Technically, we’re also Latino. Because we’ve been colonized by Spain for as long as any other Latin nation, almost 400 years. Isn’t that crazy? Heck, yeah. We’re the lost Latinos. We are the Chinese Chicanos. We are the Malaysian Mexicanos.”

- Rex Navarette on Lopez Tonight

@ American Comedy Co.,

(Dan Dion / )

11.30-12.2 Robert Kelly

“I got caught eating cookies in the shower. Do you understand? That’s not a joke. That happened.”

- Robert Kelly at Gotham Comedy Club

@ American Comedy Co.,

Robert Kelly. (Mike Coppola/Getty Images)
(Mike Coppola / Getty Images)