San Diego is in the midst of yet another epic heat spell, with temperatures rising and patience lowering. So, how do you respond when there’s no relief in sight?
Here are 10 types of San Diegans you’ll find on a hot summer day.
1. The person who needs to tell you that where they come from is way hotter
We get it. You’re from Arizona and our 80 degree-complaints are completely pathetic to you. We know we’re wussies, but just let us have this pity party with our air conditioner set on high.
2. The guy with zero concern over how much he’s sweating
He’s way past boiling point. His deodorant stopped working six hours ago. And he’s standing next to you on the elevator. Good luck!
3. The girl wearing a swim suit as a bra
Similar to her counterpart mentioned in #2, this girl is so overheated, she has lost all inhibitions and sense of decency. She’s most likely downtown, not even near a body of water, but seeks solace in her Billabong bikini.
4. The person who becomes employee of the month
It’s too hot to be at home, so this San Diegan turned their nine-to-five into a sunrise-to-sunset job just to sit in the ice-cold corporate AC. She’s even coming in on weekends now!
5. The weekend beach bums
These ones have really figured it out. They plan their weekends around maximizing beach time. And they’re only moving to reapply sunscreen, grab a beer and flip on their other side.
6. The neighbor who leaves all windows and doors open... and you accidentally sneak a peek
In an apartment or home without air conditioning, the next best option is a slight breeze through open blinds. Unfortunately, that leads to little privacy and lots of accidental glimpses into someone else’s life.
7. The person who’s still wearing a sweater
You’re drowning in your own sweat, and zipping past you is the eighth wonder of the world, wearing head-to-toe denim, a knit sweater or a NorthFace jacket. They are not of this place. Move on.
8. The nudist sun-bathers at Black’s Beach
Sometimes, the only way to deal with extreme heat is to take it all off.
9. The pool hog
This person has claimed three-too-many lounge chairs and set up camp with speakers, beverages and an array of literature you know they will never read. In your shared apartment complex pool, they are always there, sitting in the shallow end, waiting to strike-up conversation. Always.
10. The grocery shopper lingering in the frozen section
They’re curiously opening all the doors to Eggos and ice-cream without ever putting anything in their cart. They have resorted to Ralphs to cool off.