In the modern era of 21st Century cosmetic surgery, exotic, light-colored eyes become the norm, and a single shot can yield the sex life dreams are made of. It's not fantasy, folks. It's real science, and your fix could be right around the corner.
First up, a newly FDA-approved procedure that claims to kill an enemy of women everywhere (especially in the U.S.): cellulite.
"We think this is probably one of the holy grails of cosmetic surgery," says William Umansky, M.D., who shares a practice with his brother Jeffrey (also an M.D.). They're the only ones in town offering the procedure called Cellulaze, in which a surgeon makes small incisions underneath the surface of the skin and then shoots a laser at the internal structures that cause dimpling.
"It's not a perfect procedure," Jeffrey says. "You can't take someone who has extreme cellulite and make them as smooth as a table."
Still, the treatment received 100 percent consumer satisfaction ratings on realself.com, a consumer-driven site for information on everything plastic. But it's not all pretty-post-surgery photos reveal heavy bruising, so don't expect to be sporting a bikini come the weekend.
Treating one area, like the outer thighs, costs around $3,000. For now, studies show results for only two years following the procedure, so there's no telling how the treatment will affect cellulite over longer periods of time.
Not to be confused with the "G Spot," it turns out women have an "O Spot," too. And it's been in hiding...until now.
"Women are starving. They're starving for something to help them. They're starving for good sex, for passion," says Dr. Samuel Wood, a fertility and sexual medicine specialist practicing in the UTC area. "It's incredibly common and a major problem, even in otherwise good relationships."
Wood and his colleague created the O Shot, and now women of all ages, from all over the country, are on a waiting list to get what Dr. Wood's got-a single injection, promising near immediate results.
"We've had a couple women, some extreme cases, where they have the shot, got in the car, hit a bump, had an orgasm, made a sharp turn to get onto the freeway and got another one," Wood says. "And she proceeded to have like 80 orgasms in the first three or four days."
Here's how it works: a woman's own blood is centrifuged down to platelet-rich plasma that's injected into her O Spot. (Dr. Wood stresses that the shot isn't painful.) The plasma cocktail rejuvenates tissues and increases sensitivity, er, downtown.
"Only 20 percent of women have orgasms during intercourse. By injecting the gel down there, we've found it nearly triples the chance of having a vaginal orgasm."
Could this be a potential ego-bruiser for men? Wood says no.
"Women will do this for their boyfriend's or husband's birthday, because he is going to feel like Superman. It also does tighten things, so it feels better for him, and he feels better about his sexual prowess."
Those with no sexual problems report their orgasms becoming 10 times better after the shot. How do you go back to regular sex after that? Dr. Wood says there's no need to, because the results of the shot can last for years.
The shot: around $1,200 bucks. That the surgeon's name is Dr. Wood: priceless.
BLUE BUY YOU
Some 50-million people wear colored contacts...and don't fool anyone. That's about to change.
"Whether it's a wig or toupee that leads to hair transplants, or push-up bra that leads to artificial breasts, or wrinkle cream that eventually moves to Botox, almost all aspects of cosmetic surgery have evolved from a temporary solution to a permanent one," says Doug Daniels, CEO of Stroma Medical, the company that created the world's first eye-color-changing laser.
The laser removes pigment from the iris of the eye, revealing those original baby blues. Currently in clinical studies, the 10-minute procedure should be available in the U.S. within three years. A permanent pair of baby blues will cost around $5,000.
Ophthalmologist Sandy Feldman, M.D., of ClearView Eye and Medical Center in Sorrento Valley, says the technology is in its infancy, but she has no doubt it will make it to market. And she'll be one of the doctors using it on patients.
"I don't think that I could have conceived people would think about a medical procedure to actually change the color of someone's eye, internally," she says. "Before laser vision correction, people couldn't even conceive that we would be able to operate on a healthy eye and get them out of glasses or contact lenses."
It's not a one-size-fits-all procedure, as there are actually 16 shades of blue eyes. The pigment level you start with predicts what color of blue your eyes have the potential to become. Daniels says most people will end up with a steely-blue eye like Cameron Diaz. Not a bad deal. What's more, you'll know ahead of time what you're going to look like after the procedure.
"All we're doing is helping people go back to the natural color that they all have," Daniels says. "I mean, everybody has blue eyes, but there's a dark pigment that covers the iris that gives us the brown or hazel eyes. Once you remove that, everyone has blue eyes."
It's just like nature...only completely different.