Go on admit it, when was the last time you complimented your sweetheart?
If your answer is “five minutes ago,” then you qualify as a relationship whisperer. For the other 99.5% of the dating population, it’s all too true that we forget to compliment our honeys regularly, and days or (gasp!) weeks go by without uplifting words of encouragement.
To get things back in order, National Compliment Day reminds us that a simple phrase can change a person’s day and the future course of a relationship. Invented by Kathy Chamberlin and Debby Hoffman of New Hampshire in 1998, the day is for spreading love and respect, for which this world needs a gigantic dose.
Here are a few tips for adding more compliments into your dating life.
Try the compliment sandwich
Are you currently fighting with your honey over an issue that goes nowhere? Try the successful sandwich approach. Like stacking a pastrami on rye, butter him/her up with an impressive compliment base, lay your issue in the middle (brevity is key) and top with a follow-up compliment slice. The complaint is taken much easier, leading the recipient to reason, “They really do think I’m awesome, I just need to work on this one thing!” Bingo. Just be careful the complaint meat in the middle isn’t too thick, or, like a NY deli sandwich, he/she won’t be able to get his/her mouth around the whole thing.
Show some respect
Compliments show you love and respect your partner as a human being and gives him/her a sense of place in the relationship. How many times have we heard our friends complain, “I feel like he/she doesn’t respect me”? End that dilemma in your own love affair by handing out compliments like napkins at a BBQ. Let them know you are proud of him/her and what he/she does, from work to volunteer activities or anything else he/she puts great effort toward. Then sit back and watch that flower grow.
From small things, like taking out the garbage to big, thorny relationship matters, compliments can motivate in substantial ways. Let’s say you aren’t getting what you want in the, errr, bedroom. A well-placed set of compliments can motivate pleasure in your direction. Tell them how exquisite they are at something else, then massage in the, “and I really love it when you…” (Your partner has done this at least once right?) Chances are, your S.O. wants to continue to make you happy, and voila, everyone’s happy. If he/she doesn’t, it is an almost certain sign of narcissism and you should run — now.
A happier relationship (for both of you)
Make it rain with compliments, then stand back and watch how things improve. People tend to feel love and respect (see above) when they get jolts of positivity. You’ll find your own outlook gets a boost too, because kindness feels good. Besides, smiling burns calories!
Let’s face it, the world is a hot mess. With political tensions, war, terrorism and environmental issues, the air of negativity these days is suffocating. Brighten up your corner of the world (and some would argue the energy of the planet) by stocking your days with compliments for your bae. You’ll find the air lighter and your mornings brighter with a dose of positivity.
For those who are compliment challenged, here are some simple ones to include in your day. Text them, pen them on a sticky note, lipstick them on the mirror, write them in the shower fog, tag them on Instagram, say them with whatever voice you’re comfortable with.
You are beautiful.
You make me smile.
You inspire me.
You make my day happier.
You make my life better.
I love it when you….
See how this works? One final note: You might be wondering about the ever-challenging outfit compliment dilemma, the “How do I look?” question. Listen up, and listen well. The answer is always, “You look fabulous/sexy/hot.” Got it? Even if it makes you cringe. (You can then gently guide them into a different outfit after the fabulous comment, right?)
For social media complimenters, be sure to use the hashtag #NationalComplimentDay.