Reel Love?

By Josh Board
Relativity Media” alt=”Safe Haven courtesy of Relativity Media” src=”https://www.pacificsandiego.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Safe-Haven2.jpg” width=”570” height=”395” />

February is when many couples go out for date-night at the cinema, and with three movies set to come out on Valentine’s Day, this year won’t disappoint. Actually, it might. One film is the animated Escape From Planet Earth, which is good for the kids. Guys might love to see A Good Day to Die Hard (yes, Bruce Willis is back), but the un-single ones will most likely be dragged to see Safe Haven, a chick flick derived from Nicholas Sparks’ latest romance novel.

In case you can convince your chick to stay home and watch a DVD (you can use the money you saved on popcorn to woo her with candy hearts), here are my Top 10 Most Romantic Movies, and Top 10 Movies People Mistakenly Think Are Romantic:

Top 10 Movies People Mistakenly Think Are Romantic:

10. Love Actually. It includes eight different stories. One has a man in love with his best friend’s wife. Another has porn stars supposedly too shy to ask each other out. Another involves a man cheating. That’s romantic?

9. Pretty Woman. I’m not picking this because Richard Gere and Julia Roberts both have eyes that bug me. It’s because, well...she’s a prostitute!

8. Say Anything. Former San Diegan Cameron Crowe gave us some great films. Everyone thinks the quintessential romantic scene is John Cusak holding up a boom box, blasting a Peter Gabriel song. If it were Cusak’s own song, then you’d have something romantic. As is, it’s just a guy iThe Weinstein Company” alt=”Escape From Planet Earth courtesy of The Weinstein Company” src=”https://www.pacificsandiego.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Escape-From-Planet-Earth-co-The-Weinstein-Co..jpg” width=”250” height=”370” />n the front yard with a radio.

7. Titanic. James Cameron’s movie is fun to look at, but it has horrible dialogue. I never really cared about the romance. Maybe that was cemented by Rose’s throwing a $10 million diamond overboard.

6. Annie Hall. It won the Oscar for Best Picture, rare for a comedy. What makes it unromantic is, in real life, Woody Allen would date an underage, adopted, Asian stepdaughter, not Diane Keaton.

5. An Officer and a Gentleman. Richard Gere, again. I just can’t get over the fact that the premise involves women trying to trap pilots into marrying them.

4. The Bridges of Madison County. We have to root for Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood getting
together, even though she’s married?

3. Deliverance. Meow like a kitty, bark like a dog, but whatever you do, don’t squeal like a pig - it just isn’t romantic.

2. Bull Durham. An amazing sports movie. But this romanticizes a woman who’s a baseball groupie for a minor league baseball team. Foul ball(s).

1. Harold & Maude. Ruth Gordon is a 79-year-old having an affair with a teenager. This was before the term “cougar.” Gordon was so old, she was a saber-tooth tiger.

Now, here’s the real deal:
Top 10 Most Romantic Movies

10. The English Patient. There are moments of romance that bring me to tears. It has two couples clearly in love.

9. 16 Candles. This John Hughes movie gets points because, I mean, who would’ve thought Molly Ringwald could land Jake Ryan. Jake Ryan!

8. Jerry Maguire. It’s a sports movie, combined with a love story, written by San Diego’s Cameron Crowe. It isn’t just the Tom Cruise/ Renée Zellweger pairing; there’s also a sweet connection between Cuba Gooding Jr. and his wife. Show me the romance!

7. Slumdog Millionaire. Intrigue, romance and a Bollywood ending.

6. The Princess Bride. It’s not inconceivable that a comedy can be romantic.

5. The Prince of Tides. Dark subject matter, sure, but this was Nick Nolte before the mug shots, and Barbra Streisand before she got (so) annoying.

4. Shakespeare in Love. I hate Gwyneth Paltrow movies, so this pick really says something.

3. Ghost. Makes the list, despite freak factor of Whoopi Goldberg (with Patrick Swayze’s ghost inside her) kissing Demi Moore.

2. When Harry Met Sally. The perfect date movie. Guys aren’t bored, because Meg Ryan used to be nice to look at. Like the lady says in the deli: “I’ll have what she’s having.”

1. Casablanca. Just the most romantic, classic movie ever, set during wartime. Watch it and reaffirm that you’re a lover, not a fighter.

Josh Board reviews movies for Fox 5 San Diego in the morning