Laughing Stock

Comedy curator: Catlin Dorset

Bill Maher @ Humphrey's Concerts by the Bay" src="http://www.pacificsandiego.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Bill-Maher-photo-by-David-Becker.jpg" alt="8/2: Bill Maher @ Humphrey's Concerts by the Bay" width="580" height="435" />

"New rule: now that the Confederate flag is on its way out, someone has to reassure Southern men wondering what they're going to run up and down their pole that they still have their sister's hand." -Bill Maher on Real Time with Bill Maher
8/2: Bill Maher @ Humphrey's Concerts by the Bay, humphreysconcerts.com

"This morning I woke up and I shit a squirrel, but what I can't get is, the damn thing is still alive. So now, I've got a shit-covered squirrel running around my office and I don't know what to name it." -David Koechner as Champ Kind in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
8/6-8: David Koechner @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com

"I've had a great week; I just got an electric car. Sweet, it is sweet. It's in the shop now; we're having a gas engine put in it." -Kevin Nealon on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
8/7: Kevin Nealon @ Humphrey's Concerts by the Bay, humphreysconcerts.com

"Love is powerful stuff, man. Love will make you move all the way across the country and sell all your shit... just to get away from that person." -Tom Rhodes on Comedy Central Presents
8/7-9: Tom Rhodes @ Mad House Comedy Club, madhousecomedyclub.com

"My mom goes, 'Russell, you're getting older now and you're not married. What if I bring some nice girls home for you?' I go, 'Ma, I bring nice girls home all the time.' They just leave in the morning, you know. That's a nice girl, right there." -Russell Peters on Comedy Now
8/8: Russell Peters @ Pala Casino, palacasino.com

"In my neighborhood, you got a Latin girlfriend, you don't need a big brother." -Pablo Francisco on Comedy Central Presents
8/13-16: Pablo Francisco @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com

"Why the hell do people keep getting married? You know, isn't anybody looking at the stats? I mean, what's it, like, one out of two marriages goes right down the shitter? People, if you were going skydiving and they told you half the parachutes weren't gonna open, you'd be like 'F**k that, I'm not going!'" -Bill Burr on One Night Stand
8/15: Bill Burr @ Harrah's Resort SoCal, harrahssocal.com

"I'm kinda stuck in that awkward, in-between stage where my hair is just starting to fall out, but I'm still maintaining my youthful acne. So, physically, it's all really coming together for me right now. Soon, I'll be strolling around in a pair of Depends, popping zits on my bald head." -Greg Fitzsimmons on Comedy Central Presents
8/20-22: Greg Fitzsimmons @ American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com

"The penis: you pull the underwear down, and it's like a drunk friend falling out of a car." -Jo Koy on Comedy Central Presents
8/22: Jo Koy @ Humphrey's Concerts by the Bay, humphreysconcerts.com

"Girl, you look so good, someone ought to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit." -Arsenio Hall as Reverend Brown in Coming to America
8/27: Arsenio Hall @ Sycuan Casino, sycuan.com

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