"I'm not that good in bed. I don't have the experience, I don't want to learn all these new tricks and I don't want to be completely hairless." - Heather McDonald on Joy Behar: Say Anything!
4/4-6: Heather McDonald @ The American Comedy Company, americancomedyco.com
This Chelsea Lately regular penned You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, a New York Times bestseller, and co-wrote the flick White Chicks, starring the Wayans brothers.
"You ever seen women talk to each other? They don't even listen, man, they're just waiting their turn." - Willie Barcena
4/5-6: Willie Barcena @ Mad House Comedy Club, madhousecomedyclub.com
Following his one-hour stand-up special, I Gotta Be Honest, on Showtime last September, Willie Barcena is currently bringing his comedic chops to cities across the country.
"I really wanna see Filipino cuisine on Food Network. I'm tired of seeing Filipino cuisine on Fear Factor. That shit ain't funny anymore." - Rex Navarrete
4/6: Rex Navarrete @ Pala Casino, palacasino.com
A college professor told Rex Navarrete he was wasting his time in class and encouraged him to follow his dream of becoming a comedian. The result? The Filipino funny man has spent the last 24 years entertaining audiences all over the world.
"I went to a sexual harassment seminar recently. Yeah, so now I think I'm gonna be pretty good at it." - Doug Benson
4/7: Doug Benson @ The American Comedy Company, americancomedyco.com
The star of 2008's marijuana mockumentary Super High Me currently hosts his own comedy podcast at douglovesmovies.com.
"Everybody knows what pollen is; you wipe it off your car. But do you ever think of it for what it truly is? Vegetable sperm. That's what it is, man." - Charlie Murphy on Lopez Tonight.
4/19-21: Charlie Murphy @ The American Comedy Company, americancomedyco.com
Eddie's big brother honed his funny bone on Chappelle's Show before starring in his own Comedy Central stand-up special, I Will Not Apologize, in 2010.
4/25-27: Bret Ernst @ The American Comedy Company, americancomedyco.com
One of four comedians starring in Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show from 2006, Brett Ernst can soon be seen in Funny: The Documentary, which follows the career paths of many rising comedians.
"I'm not on a diet, and it's funny because people go, 'well then, why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake." - Gabriel Iglesias from Hot and Fluffy Comedy.
4/26: Gabriel Iglesias @ Valley View Casino Center, valleyviewcasinocenter.com
For those who had the fortune of seeing Magic Mike, you'll recognize this "fluffy" funnyman as the drug-dealing Tobias.