I Screen, You Screen
This is a perfect time to march into theaters, since spring brings flicks for everyone. For starters, Oz the Great and Powerful is going to be powerful at the box office. And, you can’t have a month go by without a remake. That’s the scary Carrie.
Hollywood always has a Jason Statham movie ready to kick some ass - the latest is Hummingbird. Tom Hanks is going to try and make us all forget about his Cloud Atlas debacle with Captain Phillips.
A few other releases include Jack the Giant Slayer and The Croods, for the kids. There’s also G.I. Joe: Retaliation. The first one was horrible, but that doesn’t necessarily stop filmmakers when it comes to follow-ups.
The writers from The Hangover are responsible for the upcoming comedy 21 And Over. Speaking of the drinking age, March brings us St. Patrick’s Day, and I’m toasting the holiday with three intoxicating lists: Best Drinking Movies, Best Irish Movies and Movies With “Green” in the Title:
• Leaving Las Vegas. Shot back when Nic Cage actually used to act.
• The Hangover. Wait, what happened in Vegas didn’t stay there.
• Mickey Rourke pounds poignantly in The Wrestler and Barfly.
• Arthur. The Dudley Moore original, not the Russell Brand redo.
• The Big Lebowski. Another round of White Russians!
• Swingers. When you get digits, definitely sleep on them for a couple days.
• Sideways. San Diego writer Rex Pickett shows us how not to use a wine spit bucket.
Best Irish Movies
• Waking Ned Devine. An Irishman dies holding a winning lottery ticket worth $500 million. Alanis Morissette would call that ironic.
• My Left Foot, The Boxer and In the Name of the Father. All starring Daniel Day-Lewis, pre-Abe Lincoln accent.
• Michael Collins. Irish history taught by Liam Neeson and Julia Roberts.
• The Commitments and Once. The Irish don’t sing only when they’re drunk.
• The Matchmaker. In Ireland, Janeane Garofalo passes for attractive.
Movies With “Green” In The Title
• Green Hornet and Green Lantern. Give yourself a hand if you’ve never been to Comic-Con and can explain the difference between the two.
• The Green Mile. R.I.P. Michael Clarke Duncan. For reals.
• The Odd Life of Timothy Green. Even Disney movies get rotten apples sometimes.
• The Big Green. How many bad movies has Steve Guttenberg done?
• Fried Green Tomatoes. Beware a woman who tells you “the secret’s in the sauce.”
• Green Card. Before Gérard Depardieu started peeing in the aisle on airplanes.
Josh Board reviews movies for Fox 5 San Diego in the morning.
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