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Arts | Coolture

Laughing Stock: June comedy shows

Comedians coming to San Diego during June include Whitney Cummings, Larry the Cable Guy, Dane Cook and Jeff Dunham.

6.1-3: Maz Jobrani  

“I would never file for divorce. I would never file for divorce ’ cause I love my wife. Also, I’m a comedian, and she’s a lawyer. Who’s gonna win that one, right?” — Maz Jobrani on Brown and Friendly

@ La Jolla Comedy Store, thecomedystore.com/la-jolla

Maz Jobrani

Maz Jobrani.

(Courtesy photo)
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5.31-6.3: Ryan Hamilton 

“Where do you want to begin? Should we start with my face? Should we? I always look like this. I look really happy all the time, and I don’t feel like this. I really don’t. I feel OK, and I look crazy happy. And I don’t even buy it. I wake up in the morning, and I look in the mirror, and I go, ‘Well, that is inaccurate.’” — Ryan Hamilton on Happy Face

@ The American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com

Ryan Hamilton

Ryan Hamilton.

(Courtesy photo)

6.7-9: Jeff Dye 

“I am single. I had a girlfriend, and then she was like, ‘I wanna get married and have babies,’ and I was like, ‘You’ve changed. This is not the woman I met. You used to be happy with Fish-stick Friday.” — Jeff Dye on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

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@ The American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com

Jeff Dye

Jeff Dye.

(Courtesy photo)

6.15-16: Whitney Cummings 

“Use your head. You know, if you love me, you’ll think ahead. Little things, like, if you love me, and you buy me lingerie as a gift, don’t buy me a small top and a medium bottom. If you love you, you’ll buy me a large top and a small bottom, and I’ll exchange that shit on my own time.” — Whitney Cummings on I Love You

@ The American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com

Whitney Cummings

Comedian Whitney Cummings performs on stage as ELLE hosts Women In Comedy event with July Cover Star Kate McKinnon at Public Arts at Public on June 13, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images for ELLE)

(Brad Barket / Getty Images for ELLE)

6.16: Larry the Cable Guy 

“Been a crazy week for me this week. My grandma was on medical marijuana, and she broke her hip the other day. She tripped playin’ hacky sack.” — Larry the Cable Guy on We’ve Been Thinking

@ Del Mar Fairgrounds, sdfair.com

Larry the Cable Guy

Comedian Larry the Cable Guy speaks onstage during The Walt Disney Family Museum's 2nd Annual Gala at Disney's Grand Californian Hotel & Spa at The Disneyland Resort on November 1, 2016 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Joe Scarnici/Getty Images for The Walt Disney Family Museum)

(Joe Scarnici / Getty Images for The Walt Disney Family Museum)
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6.23: Dane Cook

“I wonder if Dr. Strange ever accidentally opens a time hole when he’s masturbating.” — Dane Cook on Twitter 

@ Harrah’s Resort SoCal, harrahssocal.com

Dane Cook

Comedian Dane Cook attends the premiere of Walt Disney Pictures and Lucasfilm's "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story" at the Pantages Theatre on December 10, 2016 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Mike Windle/Getty Images)

(Mike Windle / Getty Images)

6.23: Jeff Dunham  

“A Chihuahua. That’s my wife’s idea of a family pet. The dog I picked out for us is Bill, our golden retriever. He’s 80 pounds. Now that is a dog, ladies and gentlemen. Anyway, I named him Bill ’cause I got him when Clinton was in office, and as a puppy he was humping everything.” — Jeff Dunham on Spark of Insanity

@ Viejas Casino, viejas.com

Jeff Dunham

Comedian Jeff Dunham and 'Walter' perform onstage during Jeff Dunham: Unhinged In Hollywood Featuring Special Guest Brad Paisley on August 19, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for Essential Broadcast Media, LLC)

(Christopher Polk / Getty Images for Essential Broadcast Media, LLC)

6.28-30: Marcella Arguello  

“I used to work as a bank teller, and I’ll never forget the first guy who ever hit on me. He was adorable, charming and asked me to dinner, and I would have said yes if I didn’t know he had $76 in his account. I was like, we’re not even in a relationship, and you already owe me money.” — Marcella Arguello on Comedy Time

@ The American Comedy Co., americancomedyco.com

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Marcella Arguello

Marcella Arguello performs at Comedians You Should & Will Know hosted By Pete Holmes and the cast of HBO's "Crashing" during Vulture Festival LA presented by AT&T on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by John Sciulli/Getty Images for Vulture Festival)

(John Sciulli / Getty Images for Vulture Festival)

6.30: Russell Peters 

“It’s hard man, because security at the airport, Customs and Immigration, they really need to learn the difference between a terrorist and an Indian. We’re not the same! We’re not! We’re not from the same part of the world; we don’t speak the same language; we don’t even hate the same people! Terrorists hate Americans. Indians hate each other.” — Russell Peters in Outsourced

@ Pala Casino, palacasino.com

Russell Peters

Russell Peters attends the 2017 Tribeca Film Festival After Party For The Clapper Presented By EFFEN Vodka At Avenue at Avenue on April 23, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for 2017 Tribeca Film Festival)

(Jamie McCarthy / Getty Images for 2017 Tribeca Fi)


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