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Create a solid relationship with these 5 tips

Tips to creating a solid relationship include checking in with your partner often.
Tips to creating a solid relationship include checking in with your partner often.
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I grew up surrounded by relationships. It seemed everyone I knew who was considered an elder was in a relationship. I couldn’t distinguish, through my childlike eyes, if everyone of the couples were married nor did it ever cross my mind that they were not married. When you grow up around and continue seeing couple after couple everywhere you turn, your vision and even the possibility that there could be another side to relationships and even marriage does not exist.

This happened to me. My vision and perception regarding relationships was skewed due to being around couples who seemed to always be happy and in love. Because of this, I did not realize how much I did not know about love, building a relationship and even being in a healthy relationship.

As I matured and left home to begin my own life’s journey, I soon found out that I was never taught what a solid relationship looked like. Yes, I had a general idea but having the details broken down was something I never experienced so when I started dating and tried to build my first marriage, it was no wonder things came crashing down. You and I can only work with the tools we are given until we are ready to mature and go to the next level in life and in love.

Once I decided to take my love life into my own hands and not keep repeating the cycles from my past, I began to search for ways that I could create a solid relationship. A relationship where it has a fighting chance to last, be healthy and fun. One where I enjoy my partner and love him on purpose.

Here are the five tips to create a solid relationship:

1. Check in with your partner often.

Once you get into your relationship do not fall into that trap of thinking your partner will know what he or she is doing right or areas he or she needs to work on. Do not allow resentment to build up. Do be vocal about what he or she is doing right. Do be vocal about what he or she needs to work on and be open to receiving the same feedback for yourself. This type of consideration for one another will help to deepen the understanding of your partner and will bring about more happiness for the choice you made in your partner. Be willing to put the areas that need some work into practice. This will show your partner that you did hear him or her and you want to be a better partner to him or her.

2. Give him/her your undivided attention.

When your partner is trying to have a conversation with you, make sure you get rid of the distractions, no matter how small. Whenever my husband is trying to speak to me, I make it a point (most times) to put down my phone or to step away from the computer or come into the room he is in so I can give him my undivided attention. Now, I’m not perfect at this but I am getting better and this simple step does make a difference. My husband also calls me on it whenever I violate this unwritten agreement. Sometimes I’m not aware that I’m not giving him my undivided attention. This is a work in progress in my marriage. I also call him on it when he is failing at giving me his undivided attention. It is a mutual way of being understood and respectful of one another. This also keeps our bond strong.

Continue reading this story at blackandmagazine.com.


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