Let’s Talk about Sex
By David Perloff
Having climaxed, musically speaking, more than two decades ago, members of hip-hop group Salt-N-Pepa have staged a comeback. Now appearing in incessant Geico commercials, encouraging viewers to “Push it - push it real good,” the women have thrust their sexuality back into the limelight. But even without the constant reminders from America’s favorite in-your-face insurance company, who could forget the lovely ladies’ lascivious lyrics?
Oooh, baby, baby
Baby, baby
Oooh, baby, baby
Baby, baby.
Get up on this.
In 1991, Salt-N-Pepa’s global smash hit “Let’s Talk About Sex” invited fans to have public dialog about a previously taboo subject. While it may not have changed the world, they did set a precedence for openness, which is something they have in common with a local sex therapist, a Chippendales dancer performing Valentine’s Eve at House of Blues, several San Diego sex-shop owners, candid Finest City citizens and a 28-year-old virgin brave enough to divulge their erotic secrets.
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Sexual Revelation
I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours
Field research by Ariel Gafni and Ruby Gonzales; photos by Paul Body
If asking people for their phone numbers poses and emotional risk, then asking them how many people they’ve slept with poses real danger (which is why we sent the PacificSD Street Team to do it).
From Barleymash in the Gaslamp to Wang’s in North Park to PB AleHouse and PB Shore Club in Pacific Beach, here are several bold San Diegans and a couple tourists answering the age-old question: What’s your number?
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Amanda M.,
El Centro
How many people have you had sex with? Ten.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Five months.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? I would say my legs.
How old were you lost your virginity? Eighteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Reverse cowgirl.
What won’t you try sexually? Nothing.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Nine.
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Nick L.,
North Park
How many people have you had sex with? Twenty-something
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? It really depends on what I’m looking for, but usually the first couple weeks.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My smile.
How old were you lost your virginity? Sixteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Tried it all.
What won’t you try sexually? Anything that has to do with putting anything in my a**; I’m not down for it.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Nine.
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Zoey G.,
Ocean Beach
How many people have you had sex with? Eleven.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Two shots and a mule.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My lips.
How old were you lost your virginity? Sixteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Anything.
What won’t you try sexually? I’m not into sharing; last time I tried a threesome, I kicked the girl off the bed.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Eight.
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Josh C.,
Las Vegas Strip
How many people have you had sex with? Thirty-seven.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? It’s all about opportunity. It’s not a matter of what I look for or what I accept; it’s a matter of that it just happens, and that’s what I’m about - letting it happen.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? What’s not the sexiest thing about me is the real question.
How old were you lost your virginity? Fifteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? To bang the girl that’s interviewing me.
What won’t you try sexually? Whatever she won’t try.
Rate your own sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Eleven, because I’m Number One twice.
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Laura C.,
Hillcrest
How many people have you had sex with? Six.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Four dates.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My eyes.
How old were you lost your virginity? Eighteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Deep, rough lovemaking.
What won’t you try sexually? The backside.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Nine.
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Daniel D.,
Pacific Beach
How many people have you had sex with? Fifty-five-ish.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? First night, if it works out.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? I’m guessing my hair, because most girls love it. I have dreads.
How old were you lost your virginity? Seventeen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Threesomes.
What won’t you try sexually? Anything that involves my exit hole.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Seven.
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Erik R.,
Little Italy
How many people have you had sex with? Seven.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Couple weeks, four dates.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My sense of humor.
How old were you lost your virginity? Nineteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Whatever I’ve liked, I’ve done it already. Maybe a four-way with four guys.
What won’t you try sexually? Any kind of poop or pee or whipping.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Five.
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Elizabeth H.,
La Mesa
How many people have you had sex with? More than my age [twentythree].
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Not long enough, usually two to three dates. It depends on the energy and if it feels right at the time.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? I think my honesty. I’m generally a very confident person; I think that works in my favor.
How old were you lost your virginity? Eighteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Voyeurism is a really fun concept.
What won’t you try sexually? Double penetration.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. An eight or above. I think happiness, self-love and confidence are what it’s all about.
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Matt P.,
New Hampshire
How many people have you had sex with? Twenty-five-ish.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? It all depends on the vibe. I mean, if it’s a nice girl, and I can see it going somewhere, I don’t want to rush it.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? I’d say the beard.
How old were you lost your virginity? Sixteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? I’d settle for just a threesome with two chicks. Keep it simple.
What won’t you try sexually? Probably a dude; I don’t think that’s in the cards.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Eleven.
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Brian S.,
New Hampshire
How many people have you had sex with? One hundred forty-two.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Not very.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My smile.
How old were you lost your virginity? Seventeen.
Mission Beach” src=”https://www.pacificsandiego.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/7.jpg” alt=”Aleah M., Mission Beach” width=”301” height=”400” />
What are you hoping to try sexually? A foursome.
What won’t you try sexually? Anything that’s gross, like peeing on people.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Eight.
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Aleah M.,
Mission Beach
How many people have you had sex with? Three.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? I would give it about 48 hours.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? I would say hair, legs and smile. My man really loves my big brown eyes.
How old were you lost your virginity? I held out until I was eighteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? I would like to try maybe a little S and M and blindfold him. Throw a little bikini sex show in there and do some Fifty Shades of Grey weird sh!t.
What won’t you try sexually? I probably wouldn’t do anything that’s painful or anything that would disrupt the face - that’s not nice.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Ten thousand.
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Riley H.,
Pacific Beach
How many people have you had sex with? Twelve.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? It always depends. If I think they are attractive, I would wait four days.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My new tattoo.
How old were you lost your virginity? Eighteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? I’ve tried everything.
What won’t you try sexually? I will try everything. I’m not afraid to try anything.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Eight.
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Jessica F.,
East County
How many people have you had sex with? Seven.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? I have to meet their parents, so it’s usually a while.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My confidence.
How old were you lost your virginity? Sixteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Camping sex.
What won’t you try sexually? Threesomes; anything with a girl.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. On a regular day, I’d go with a six; on a day where I’m feeling it, I’m going to go with a twelve.
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Kevin W.,
North Park
How many people have you had sex with? Twenty.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? It depends on the girl.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? Intelligence.
How old were you lost your virginity? Thirteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? On the beach. What won’t you try sexually? Well, they can’t toss my salad, that’s for sure. Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Five.
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Alexis M.,
Philadelphia
How many people have you had sex with? Fourteen, maybe.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Not long - couple weeks, days or hours. It depends on the night, but I’m married now.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My collarbone.
How old were you lost your virginity? Twenty.
What are you hoping to try sexually? A threesome. That’s not true at all.
What won’t you try sexually? Anal again.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Eight.
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Milica M.,
La Jolla
How many people have you had sex with? Two.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Well, the first one, I want to say I waited four months; and my second one, on the first date, but we have been together for ten years.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? Confidence.
How old were you lost your virginity? Nineteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Not much, just passionate sex.
What won’t you try sexually? Crazy sh!t, like orgies and stuff like that.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Ten.
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Alex H.,
Morena
How many people have you had sex with? Twenty-five.
How long do you wait after meeting someone to have sex with them? Depends on the person and how much I like them.
What’s the sexiest thing about you? My smile.
How old were you lost your virginity? Fifteen.
What are you hoping to try sexually? Anal, like actually try it. I did it one time, and it didn’t work out.
What won’t you try sexually? Have anything go up my a**.
Rate your own level of sex appeal on a scale from one to 10. Nine-point-five, because no one’s perfect.
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Grey Matter
Sex lessons and other eroticisms to think about
By Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD
If you thought the Fifty Shades of Grey book series was fifty shades of HOT, then you’re likely excited about the movie version’s Valentine’s weekend release. The trilogy created a stir a few years ago with its sexually explicit content and portrayal of BDSM (bondage/ discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism). While kink caused the controversy and media coverage, I contend the main appeal of these books for women is something much more mainstream and traditional. Anyone who wants to please a woman sexually can learn a thing or two from author E. L. James.
Anastasia Steele is a 21-year-old virgin at the start of the story. She is the shy girl next door. This character seems to resonate with American women of all ages because her sexual awakening gives us all permission to be sexual without shame or embarrassment. In her role as a sexual submissive, Ana allows Christian Grey to control and pleasure her body in ways she didn’t know were possible. Through surrendering to Christian, Ana can still be a “good girl” yet also sexually adventurous.
At the most basic level, Christian makes Ana feel desired. Although Ana is insecure about her appearance, Christian is overwhelmed with desire for her. For many of us, feeling desired by someone we admire makes us feel more worthy and attractive. The reader can embody the raw, insatiable desire, and perhaps recall his or her own experiences with this prior to other priorities and life stresses getting in the way, or the newness of their relationship wearing off.
All of this makes Ana feel special. With Christian’s good looks, fortune and power, he could woo many women... yet he chose to seduce Ana. This must mean that she’s special in some way. Then, despite his desire for a non-emotional sexual relationship, he falls for her and begins to change and open up. This further indicates how extraordinary she must be, and the female reader feels this excitement and power through Ana.
In spite of the sexual kinks, this is a traditional romance story in many ways, which makes it familiar and safe. This also means that anyone who wants to please a woman sexually can glean some sexual insights. The first take-home message is that women like confident lovers. Sure, it’s unlikely you are a fantasy man who is attractive, sexy, wealthy, powerful, philanthropic and aged 27, like Christian Grey. Deal with it and own what you’ve got. Fake it until you make it when it comes to confidence. Channel Christian Grey, if you have to.
The next lesson, if your partner is game, is to introduce new aspects of power play and sensual play in the bedroom. You can practice dominance by removing your partner’s senses, such as tying her up with a scarf, using a blindfold or putting in ear buds with carefully chosen music. Be slow, teasing and in charge. Let her experience how much you desire her.
Finally, make the object of your desire feel special. Let her know through words, actions, time and attention that you think she is amazing. Never stop courting her, so she always knows she is a top priority. This may sound cliché, but what would it take to actually prioritize this every day?
There are warranted critiques of this story, like the poor writing, imprecise depiction of BDSM and portrayal of an unhealthy relationship. But Fifty Shades unexpectedly pushed the right buttons for many women. If you found yourself stirred by the steamy scenes, think about what this indicates about your sexual interests. And consider if 2015 is your year of sexual awakening.
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Jennifer “Dr. Jenn” Gunsaullus, PhD, is a sociologist, sexuality speaker, and relationship and intimacy counselor. Her hobbies are beach volleyball, soo bahk do, learning Spanish, and talking about sex. Join her sexy-themed Photo Scavenger Hunt on February 13 in PB! DrJennsDen.com
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Chest Intentions
Muscling into the spotlight with a Chippendale dancer
By David Perloff
Billy Jeffrey doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve - he doesn’t even wear a shirt. But in advance of performing live with his fellow Chippendales at the Gaslamp’s House of Blues on Valentine’s Day eve, the Idaho native, whom Cosmopolitan magazine named the Potato State’s “Sexiest Bachelor,” bares his soul to PacificSD.
PacificSD: What’s the best thing about being a Chippendale?
BILLY JEFFREY: I believe Chippendales truly is the best job in the world for me at this time in my life, but it’s not for everyone. Aside from having the personality, the talent and the look, it really is a lifestyle.
Our show is around two hours long. The rest of the time, you’re hanging with your friends, getting your workout in, traveling the world, staying at the best hotels, eating at the finest restaurants or food prepared by our private chef, partying at the hottest nightclubs... and we basically get a key to the city. And did I mention the girls?
People often ask, “Why would you want to be a male revue dancer?” These people are only thinking about me taking my clothes off during the show. I remind them about the opportunity we have to do what we want the other twenty-two hours of the day.
How about the worst thing?
It’s definitely the events that you miss - weddings, family gatherings, birthdays and holidays, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, births. We are on the road over nine months out of the year.
How did you get into the Chippendales business?
I was seen by a Chippendales scout on a TV show I did for FOX Television called The Sexiest Bachelor in America contest. I did well on the show and got enough face time to get a few phone calls, and one of them was from Chippendales. [When] I went to the audition, five hundred guys were standing there, and they were only hiring five. Well, lucky for me, after three days of photos, interviews and tested dancing ability, I made the cut.
What do you do when not touring with Chippendales?
I actually own and operate two GNC vitamin stores. I opened my first store when I was 20 years old, before Chippendales. My second store, I opened two years ago. Helping people reach their peak of health and fitness is my passion. I work nearly seven days a week when I’m not on tour, in my stores, as your GNC guy.
What are your future career plans?
I have a few good years left with Chippendales. As I mentioned, my GNC stores will be my career long after my Chippendale career ha
s come to an end. Because of my past television appearances, Hollywood keeps calling back and one of these days I just might answer the phone again. I have always wanted to see if another part in the entertainment business is for me. I can see myself giving that a try.
What’s your favorite type of person to perform for?
My absolute favorite is the girl that didn’t want to come to Chippendales. I have heard it ten thousand times: ‘I was forced to come to the show with my friends,’ ‘I don’t want to see a bunch of strippers,’ ‘I’m not one of those girls that needs to pay to see guys take their clothes off.’ This girl is the one that I want to win over - show her that we are on stage to have fun and make sure you and your friends have fun, to show you I’m a professional dancer not a stripper, to show you that we are going to celebrate sexuality between a man and a woman... without a G-string and my crotch in your face. It’s these girls that come up to me after the show and are surprise
d at the outcome. They tell me their story, tell me their preconceived notions they had before the show and how they didn’t want to come. And now, after experiencing Chippendales, how wrong they were.
Have you ever faced significant wardrobe malfunctions?
Plenty. During a live show, anything can happen, and it usually does, if you’re around long enough. Ripped pants, broken zippers, popped buttons are all just part of the job. One significant malfunction was years ago when we were in Europe. We were doing the “Construction” number, and, lo and behold, I did a move and slit the back of my pants. Not a big deal to most, but at the end of this number we are naked, so I didn’t have any underwear on.
How do you stay in such great shape?
Being ‘in shape’ is never due to just one thing. Correct food and protein intake, exercise six to seven days a week and proper supplementation are the three main focus points. Within those are hundreds of other principals that we follow.
Which of your muscles elicits the most compliments?
Abs, by far, are the most popular with the ladies. To be honest, though, my smile gets just as many. Blessed with two dimples, three rounds of braces and a lot to smile about, I’m told this is my best feature.
Who’s the sexiest man on the planet?
The sexiest man on the planet is the guy that has a deeper understanding about his time and his life on planet Earth. He respects the Earth, himself and others, friends and foes. A man that understands it’s not all about him and can put himself in others’ shoes. A man that doesn’t take himself or life too serious, but enough to be a productive member of society. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder, but I believe we all have the opportunity to be the sexiest for that beholder. A few guys that have figured this out: David Beckham, Brad Pitt and my friend Donnie Wahlberg.
Are you a boardshorts or Speedo guy when you go to the beach?
Boardshorts all the way, although a Speedo sounds fun.
If you could dance solo for one person on the planet, living or otherwise, who would you choose and why?
If we could do the show for one person, it would no question be Michael Jackson. Here at Chippendales, we are never satisfied. We are constantly updating and making changes to the show. These changes include chorography, costume, music, et cetera. We always want to be current with the times. I believe Michael Jackson would be a great person to perform for due to the fact he could critique the show. I would love his input and notes on my performance and my connection with the audience.
Why should San Diegans come see your show?
We really are what we say we are: The Ultimate Girls Night Out. This is a chance for you to dress your best, be with your friends, colleagues, family - including moms and even grandmas - and have some fun. Experience men that have worked hard to build a sexy body. Experience men that have worked hard to dance professionally. Experience men that have personality and a passion to perform. Last but not least, we want to have fun onstage and make sure you have an experience you and your girls will talk about for years to come. We have been doing it for 35 years and we have no plans of stopping any time soon.
2/13: Chippendales Get Lucky tour
Show starts at 9 p.m.
House of Blues, Downtown
houseofblues.com
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Buy Me Love
See what’s in-store at several San Diego sex shops
By David Perloff
Love, or something like it, is for sale at a growing number of retail stores around the city. Given the Valentine’s Day cinematic release of Fifty Shades of Grey, the new black is a better sex life, and the latest love letters are BDSM - a three-way acronym combining the abbreviations for bondage and discipline (BD), dominance and submission (DS), and sadism and masochism (SM). If you’ve been toying around with the idea of spicing up life inside the bedroom and in/around/outside your comfort zone, see what local sexperts say are the season’s hottest items... and who’s buying them.
Hustler Hollywood
Q&A with Jamall Cassanova (JC), store manager
What has been your top-selling product(s) of late?JC: We-Vibe 4 Plus is a consistent top-seller since they released it. Other top-sellers include Jimmy Jane Form 2, Jopen Vanity VR 16 and 17, Hitachi Magic Wand, Rhino 7, Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit and Fun Factory Stronic.
What trends do you see emerging?
JC: Technology is becoming a big part of the business. With the release of Ohmibod’s Blue Motion and We-Vibe 4 Plus, it’s showing that people want to be able to incorporate technology into their sex lives, especially with long-distance relationships. Couples toys are increasingly popular in all areas. Obviously, pretty much all toys can be used with couples, but with We-Vibe and other big brands making and marketing products specifically for couples, it all seems a bit more accessible for those new to incorporating toys into their sex lives. BDSM is definitely still trending, particularly in ropes and submissive items.The lingering curiosity from the Fifty Shades of Grey book, and now the upcoming film release, is driving sales on everything BDSM-related, from books to DVDs to items needed to participate. Last but not least, men seem to be more concerned with wanting to perform better for their partners. They are using enhancement pills and increasing longevity with products like the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit.How have online sales of sex toys and the like affected your business?
JC: The Internet has affected our sales, but not as much as one would think. People want the experience of coming in to the store and exploring all the different types of products we carry. Also, customers like to take advantage of the expertise our sales associates have. There’s nothing like getting real and honest recommendations from someone who knows what they are talking about. Our stores are beautiful, welcoming and have so much more than just sex toys, which makes people feel comfortable shopping with us. We definitely aren’t just another seedy sex shop. Lastly, when you buy at the store, you can go home and use it immediately instead of waiting for it to arrive in the mail.
Describe your typical customer.
JC: We get a little of everyone. We have a lot of tourists, Southern California and Arizona residents looking for a little getaway in San Diego as well as military personnel.
Have customers requested strange or unusual products you don’t carry?
JC: It’s very rare that we don’t carry something that someone wants, as we try to cater to every need and fetish.
Hustler Hollywood
929 Sixth Ave., Downtown
619.696.9007, hustlerhollywood.com
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Déjà Vu Love Boutique and Barnett Avenue Adult Superstore
Q&A with Shannon Deadmon (SD), director of marketing
What has been your top-selling product(s) of late?
SD: We’ve had several top-selling products lately, but the two that stand out are Lelo’s Gigi 2 and the We-Vibe 4. The Gigi 2 is a G-spot vibe featuring a signature flattened tip that delivers focused G-spot massage that can also be flipped to double up for thrilling clitoral stimulation. The We-Vibe 4 is the world’s number one couples vibrator, which has recently been redesigned for better fit, heightened intensity and more control.
What trends do you see emerging?
SD: Smartphone apps are the latest technological trend in our industry. In fact, WeVibe 4 Plus has an app that allows couples to connect in unique ways, whether together or miles apart. Another trend occurring in our industry is licensing deals between adult toy companies and celebrities, creating branded novelty products. Adult film stars Joanna Angel, Bonnie Rotten and Jessica Drake have joined various adult product manufacturers, creating branded products and merchandise. Jessica Drake joined Wicked to create instructional DVDs that illustrate techniques that couples can use to improve their sex lives. Reality star Coco, from the hit TV show Ice Loves Coco, and reality star Nick Hawk and have both teamed up with California Exotic Novelties to create their own branded product collections.
How have online sales of sex toys and the like affected your business?
SD: Online sales of adult products have affected our business to a certain extent. However, one of the most important benefits of a brick-and-mortar store is that personal connection we have with our guests. Our team of staff are very knowledgeable and provide extensive assistance and product education to our guests, so that they find what products are right for them, without the hassle of shipping and not knowing who to call for help, et cetera. This is what keeps our guests coming back again and again.
Describe your typical customer.
SD: We have a wide range in our customer demographics. They range in age from 26 to 59 and older. We have several women guests, whose ages range from late-thirties to forties, who enjoy the large variety of products and friendly, inviting staff members who are always ready to help them. We also never have a shortage of couples shopping together. This is sort of a romantic, erotic thing that couples enjoy doing together.
Have customers requested strange or unusual products you don’t carry?
SD: One of the items requested that was uniquely different was from a male shopper who asked if we carry adult diapers. There are surprisingly more customers than you think who are into the adult diapers fetish. With there being so many fetishes people have, we never make judgments against any of our customers.
Barnett Avenue Adult Superstore
3610 Barnett Ave., Loma Portal
619.224.0187, barnettaveadultsuperstore.com
Déjà Vu Love Boutique
1560 N. Magnolia Ave.,
El Cajon
619.448.3791, loveboutiqueonline.com
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Adam & Eve
Q&A with Bryan Lovering (BL), store owner
What has been your top-selling product(s) of late?
BL: Our top-selling product is the We-Vibe 4 Plus. This is a couples toy you that has an app, which allows it to be controlled by one’s partner, anywhere in the world. The other top-selling product is called ON. This is an all-natural arousal oil that warms, tingles and gives the feeling of vibration when applied to the erogenous zones.
What trends do you see emerging?
BL: The trend is towards cutting-edge technology, which is affordable and reliable - specifically, Adam & Eve products, which come with a fiveyear warranty, which is unusual within our industry. In addition, due to the popularity of the Fifty Shades Of Grey book series, there is an increasin
g demand for fetish items. Because the movie is debuting on February 14, we a
re fully stocked with these products in order to meet these demands.
How have online sales of sex toys and the like affected your business?
BL: We are a franchise and knew when we signed on that our parent company is also our competition. When our customers see that we are physically here, they are excited, because they can actually see what they are getting, and there are no surprises. We are a very educationally oriented store and demonstrate all products and answer all questions about products. It is important that our customers see the differences in textures, materials, functions, speed, et cetera, before choosing the product that is just right for their needs. We make sure that all products are in good working order when they walk out the door, because of course, they cannot be returned.
Describe your typical customer.
BL: Adam & Eve’s target-market has always been women and couples. Because we chose to open our store in Hillcrest, we also cater to the gay, lesbian and transgender market. We have something for everyone.
Have customers requested strange or unusual products you don’t carry?
BL: The most unique product we have specialordered is the professional series Violet Wand. It is a high-frequency machine, which is very low electrical current that is ramped up to a high frequency, making it safe for application all over the body. They have been featured on HBO’s Real Sex show and used in Cirque du Soleil performances. An exceedingly popular device within the BDSM and fetish community, it has become part of our standard stock.
Adam & Eve
415 University Ave., Hillcrest
619.291.6969, adamevesandiego.com
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Dr. Loves Erotic Superstore
Q&A with David Dew (DD), ownerWhat has been your top-selling product(s) of late?
DD: The We-Vibe 4 Plus is our current top-seller.
What trends do you see emerging?
DD: We are seeing a strong trend toward high-end luxury vibrators. Because of this, we are currently adding to our store a sit-down Vibrator Bar, where customers will be able to sit down and touch and feel our complete line of luxury vibrators. This is important, because the
technology going into some of these vibrators is truly revolutionary. Some toys are now able to be controlled with an iPhone or iPad, and some can be controlled by voice. Gone are the days of “just add batteries and play.”
How have online sales of sex toys and the like affected your business?
DD: With hundreds of thousand of sex toys on the market these days, we have found that a vast majority of customers
really like to come in and see what they are actually buying. We also have a one of the largest online sex toy stores in the world. DrLoves.com has over 40,000 sex toys
and lingerie, as well as 40,000 adult DVDs and 100,000 video-on-demand titles. As far as anonymity goes, we are finding
that, these days, people are far more open about their sexuality; the advent of the Internet has actually brought sex toys and adult merchandise into the mainstream.
Describe your typical customer.
DD: Our customers are primarily females and couples in their twenties to forties. We started out almost 20 years ago with the intent of taking the taboo out of toy shopping. By creating a store that was fun and comfortable to shop in, we were truly pioneers of the boutique concept.
Have customers requested strange or unusual products you don’t carry?
DD: The most unusual products that we sell are probably the sex machines that we carry online only. They can run upwards of one thousand dollars each.
Dr. Love’s Erotic Superstore
1155 Garnet Ave., Pacific Beach
877.375.6837, drloves.com
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Untouched For The Very First Time
Horny but happy: the key to living life as a 28-year-old virgin
By Megan Looney
For the past 10 years, there were only a few things I looked for in a potential boyfriend. He needed to be:
1. Attractive
2. Tall
3. Fun
Now, at the ripe age of 28, I realize how embarrassingly superficial and vain that was. Sure, I dated some attractive, tall, fun men, but none stood the test of time. Plus, men who date me get a delightful bonus challenge: I’m still a virgin. By choice. And I’m waiting for marriage.
I used to put my purity on a pedestal. No matter how many questionable decision I made in my younger years, I always had my V-card to bail me out. Did I dance on a bar in Mexico? Sure. Did I occasionally make-out with strangers in clubs? Perhaps. But it’s okay, because I’m a virgin.
Surprisingly enough, I apparently don’t look, speak or act like a virgin is supposed to (whatever that means), so most men are caught off guard when I break the news. They either A, support my decision, blue balls and all; B, congratulate me on abstaining, all the while trying to figure out how to get past the invisible force field in my pants; or C, also genuinely want to wait (this has only been the case once).
Yes, I know it’s hard. Yes, I know one can only make-out and dry hump for so long before someone gets bored or chafed. But thankfully, as someone who is nearing her 30s, I seem to be attracting a different type of man than I did during my alcohol-fueled table-dancing years. Why? Primarily because my virginity no longer defines me, and I have learned actually to enjoy my singleness instead of viewing it as a “marriage prep” period. In the last couple of years, I have jumped out of planes,
somersaulted off 10-meter platforms, s
wam with sharks, stood in front of an audience in a bikini and traveled through Europe alone, all voluntarily mind you.
Let’s just say that, right now, my lust for life overpowers my lust for sexual gratification. And if I happen to meet a man along the way, he better be ready for a long, hard ride.