Shui Loves Me, Shui Loves Me Not

By Rebecca Chappell
Photo by Paul Brody

(Published in the February 2010 issue)

Have you lost that loving feeling? It may be your bedroom's fault. Practitioners of the ancient Chinese art of Feng Shui (pronounced fung shway) believe that what goes on in our lives is a reflection of our personal environments. By successfully balancing the flow of energy, or chi, in a space, it is thought that we can attract the life of our dreams.

"When you walk into a room and instantly feel safe, comfortable and happy, that's good Feng Shui at the most basic level," explains Tamara Romeo, owner of SouthCoast Feng Shui Design in Del Mar. "In a bedroom, there are specific indicators of good and bad Feng Shui. For example, are you sleeping well? Are you and yourpartner intimate as often as you'd like to be?"

If your answer to that second question is, "No," read on. Just in time for Valentine's Day, Romeo shares these tips for how toprime your bedroom for love by incorporating Feng Shui.

What are some basics of good bedroom Feng Shui?

Open your windows every day to let air and sunlight circulate through the room. This invites positive energy and naturally clears the space of any lingering smells. Make sure to have a supportive headboard or a wall behind your head versus a window or open space to encourage feelings of safety and security. And avoid positioning your bed under "hanging" items such as beams, ceiling fans and chandeliers. Our subconscious mind finds these things uncomfortable. Plus, it hurts if you hit your head while having a little fun!

What might lead to bad bedroom Feng Shui?

People try to multi-purpose their bedrooms with televisions, exercise equipment or work-related items, and that's a big no-no. A bedroom's purpose is to be a warm, welcoming sanctuary of love. Items in the space that represent any activity other than sex or sleep create an opposite, negative energy. Also, water creates an energy field of too much emotion. In the bedroom, it can create problems in a relationship, including lack of passion, because water cools fire. Keep water images, fountains and aquariums in more active areas of your home.

What else should be avoided?

Don't keep any furniture pieces in the bedroom that symbolize "downer" moments. If you can afford to, throw out that old mattress, or at least the bedding from your last relationship, and get new ones. Also, move photos of your family and friends out of the bedroom. This is your love den-no one needs to be looking at your cousin's wedding photos or your son's first communion. Any artwork should be romantic, soothing and represent a happy couple.

What colors or accessories work best?

To achieve balance in the room, start with soothing skin tones ranging from light cream to velvety brown. The goal here is to promote the best flow of energy for sleep, as well as sexual healing. Then incite passion with "fire" elements-hot colors such as crimson, coral or fuchsia, and plenty of candles. If you're afraid you may forget to blow them out, you can find battery-operated candles that work on a timer. Leather and animal prints also represent fire. So, for example, you could incorporate a leather headboard or zebra-striped throw to "heat things up." Another fun accent piece would be a red feather boa. That's something that definitely has a few purposes in the bedroom!

Any tips for the chronically single?

Make room for romance by clearing out clutter. This includes saying goodbye to your junior-high collections of dolls and stuffed animals. Look at the art throughout your home. Solitary figures convey messages of independence and thus remaining a "single." Be sure to display art that shows two people, two animals, or whatever inspires you, and place items around your home in pairs, especially in your bedroom. Finally, have nightstands and lamps on both sides of the bed. It not only makes the space appear balanced, but also creates the energy of being part of a pair. Your partner will get the message to "stay" when the room feels like it is already meant for two, rather than just one.

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

Mirrors in the bedroom can definitely enhance your sex life, but in Feng Shui, mirrors represent the element of water. And because a bedroom is a warm, dry, nurturing space, Romeo says we should avoid cooling it down with water-related items. Mirrors also tend to reflect and bounce energy around the space, detracting from the relaxed atmosphere we are trying to create. Therefore, Romeo recommends having no more than one mirror in your bedroom, and a small one if possible. If that doesn't cut it for your shag sessions, Romeo suggests buying a wardrobe mirror. Simply bring it in the bedroom for a sexy romp, then move it back to the closet when you're done. Yeah baby, yeah!

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