What A Catch!

By David Perloff, Editor-In-Chief

Mom said I wouldn’t find love at a nightclub. I found it at a gay bar.

It happened December 23, 1999, at Rich’s in Hillcrest. My wife thought I was gay until 2001.

These days, people are so busy multitasking (Googling and “working,” texting and driving), they think they have to resort to online matchmakers. Dating sites provide the opportunity to scan hundreds of photos in a single night, but when you’re looking for just one, maybe having such a wide selection makes it hard to narrow the field.

Take farmersonly.com, for example. These guys run ads on CNN, encouraging field hands and green thumbs to visit their site for what may be lying on the other side of the fence. Spoiler alert: it’s a cow patty. The farmer’s daughter on the screen weighs 75 pounds more than her profile pic, and the cute boy with the big arms is three months late on his tractor payments.

Unless you want to date a cow (see uglyorfatdating.com below), you’re probably better off at the farmers market. Veggies are good for you, and you might meet somebody nice while stimulating the local economy - versus stimulating yourself in front of the computer.

I think it’s easiest to find love wherever you happen not to be looking for it. I wasn’t looking for it at Rich’s (I swear!), because, among other reasons, Adam’s apples can be hard to spot in the dark. Other things get hard in the dark up there, too.

This issue of PacificSD is packed with innuendo (in your end, oh?) and plenty of sex appeal. Inside, Playboy Playmate Raquel Pomplun shows the world how to look hot in lingerie (“Undress to Impress”), CW6’s Ruben Galvan reveals how he got his sexy back (“Sharper Image”), San Diego adult film stars bare it all in the name of fame (“A Star is Porn”), and a 26-year-old virgin blogger explains why she’s holding out (“Celibate Good Times! C’mon On!”).

If, after reading this magazine, you aren’t ready for the real-life singles scene and can’t resist the urge to try to click a winner, check out these real dating sites and their corporate slogans, printed alongside my advice in italics.

Farmersonly.com
Slogan: “Meet 1,000s of down to earth county folks today!”
Who you’ll really meet: the cream of the crop, the pick of the litter - and maybe your first cousin.

Christianmingle.com
Slogan: “Find God’s match for you.”
I wonder who Buddha would want me to date? Grandma wanted me to find a nice Jewish girl, and she was an atheist.

Cougarlife.com
Slogan: “Meet divorcees, single moms and sexy singles looking for a young stud.”
Scan Demi Moore and Jennifer Aniston’s profiles, or saddle a Rancho Santa Fe fifty-something and score front-row seats to Opening Day at Del Mar.

Militarysingles.com
Slogan: “Where the ultimate patriot goes to date military singles!”
Do him for you country!

Mancrunch.com
Slogan: “Putting the ‘man’ back in romance.”
They almost went with “Putting the ‘U’ in a guy.”

Uglyorfatdating.com
Slogan: “Fat, overweight or just cuddly.”
If only they could be all three.

Sugardaddie.com
Slogan: “Where the classy, attractive and affluent meet.”
The usernames “Hef” and “Trump” are already taken. Schwarzenegger’s still packin’ major loot, but the maid never lets him out of the house. This time, he may not be back.

Jdate.com
Slogan: “The premier Jewish singles community online.”
Oy! I already married a shiksa.

Here’s my real advice: don’t take advice from me - I met my wife at a gay bar. Happy hunting, San Diego!