Guy and Dolls

By David Perloff / Photos by Brevin Blach

Kerrya is San Diego’s field marketing event manager for Glaceau, makers of smartwater. “Unlimited hydration at my fingertips - it’s one of the best perks,” she says.

Ryan owns Epic Limo, the San Diego-based transportation company that provides party people with limobuses, and local magazines with limos for blind dates. “Basically, I drive dunk people around and charge them a lot of money for it,” he says.

The two are about to arrive (in one of Ryan’s limos, which picked Kerrya up in Pacific Beach half-an-hour ago) at the new Uptown Tavern in Hillcrest (the former location of Ono Sushi). Before the car pulls up, let’s review the pre-date interviews.

PacificSD: What do you do for fun?
KERRYA: Work. I love my job; it’s incredible. But when I am not working, I enjoy shopping, going to the beach, swimming, going dancing, pretty much all the fun activities San Diego has to offer.
RYAN: I love going on blind dates and having them published in local magazines.

What’s the sexiest thing about you?
KERRYA: My smile.
RYAN: In order to keep it PG-13, lets go with my manscaping skills.

What do you like least about yourself?
KERRYA: No one is perfect, and I think that is what is beautiful. I honestly don’t have a complaint.
RYAN: The fact that I need manscaping skills.

What are you looking for in a date, physically and/or otherwise?
KERRYA: Someone to share life’s adventures with.
RYAN: I’m looking for a someone who can have fun in any situation, takes pride in what she looks like but can rock sweats and a baby tee, has solid values and has most of her teeth.

Fill in the blanks: I want my blind date to be “blank” and “blank.”
KERRYA: Sexy and successful, like me!
RYAN: Fun and smart. I’m such a liar.

What’s your surefire trick for making a date end with romance?
KERRYA: Flirtation throughout the entire date, sprinkled with smiles and giggles.
RYAN: I do know that champagne and strawberries are usually involved. If she drinks too much, I’ll even hold her hair.

What’s the best thing that could happen during the date?
KERRYA: Love at first sight.
RYAN: We have a great night and, by the end of the date, we feel like we’ve known each other for years.

What will most likely happen?
KERRYA: I will have a great time and hopefully a new friend or more.
RYAN: We’ll have a great time and end up in Vegas.

Will the night end with a kiss, something more or something less?
KERRYA: I’m sorry but I don’t kiss and tell.
RYAN: We’re going to Vegas. Of course something will happen.

Epic Limo
858.270.LIMO (4566)

Shots Fired

It all goes down uptown

Kerrya and Ryan arrive at Uptown Tavern and grab a table by the bar. The place just opened a few weeks ago and it’s already got a fun vibe and crowd, but the energy doesn’t seem to be rubbing off on the daters, who were talking the whole time in the limo and haven’t had a drink yet.

To help break the ice, PacificSD sends over shots of tequila with the first round. Blind dates don’t need to be fueled by alcohol, but a little kick-start never hurt (much).

By the time their food and more shots arrive, the couple appears to loosen up. Posing for photos seems to have brought them closer together. They’re smiling and laughing more now.
Let’s check in and get the real scoop.

PacificSD: How’s it going so far?
KERRYA: I’ve never done anything like this, but we get along well. It’s easy conversation and it’s a fun night. The tequila shots helped.
RYAN: It’s better than expected. She’s fun, easy to talk to. I’m having a great time. She seems down to earth and cool at the same time.

What were you first impressions?
KERRYA: He opened the door for me, very gentleman-like. I really appreciated that.
RYAN: I thought she was attractive, and right away there was no awkward silences or weird pauses in the conversation.

How was the limo ride?
KERRYA: It was good. We were talking and there was no awkwardness at all, so that was nice. We didn’t stop talking until we got here.
RYAN: The ride was great. We talked so naturally that we didn’t even get a chance to have a drink.

Is this the type of person you’d usually date?
KERRYA: Normally, yes, I do go for taller guys. I like dark hair and stuff. He’s someone I’d be interested in.
RYAN: Yes, in the fact that she is attractive and outgoing.

What would your best friend say about your date?
KERRYA: He’s super cool, definitely a good-looking guy, so I think she’d approve.
RYAN: They’d probably say she was hot.

What do you think of Uptown Tavern?
KERRYA: It’s got a really cool vibe, and the food is delicious. We got the sliders and the macaroni and cheese. Super good. We both tried a hibiscus flower - didn’t know you could eat those; tasted like a Craisin. Then I switched to Red Bull vodkas...tequila shots coming around continuously...I’m a little bit tipsy.
RYAN: It’s fun, got a good vibe. The food’s great, and our server, Scottie, is awesome, very energetic. And they serve great shots. We had the sliders and the mac ‘n’ cheese, which was very good.

Rate your date on a scale from 1-10 for looks.
KERRYA: 8.5.
RYAN: Nine.

Rate your date from 1-10 for personality.
RYAN: 9.5.

Under what circumstances would you have sex with your date?
KERRYA: If I was dating him for a very long time and I was his girlfriend.
RYAN: Under the right circumstances, but the wrong ones might be okay, too.

Do you want to kiss your date now?
RYAN: That might happen. Not right this second.

Does your date want to kiss you now?
KERRYA: I don’t know. It’s still early in the night.
RYAN: After all those shots? Maybe.

Uptown Tavern
1236 University Ave., Hillcrest

Undress To Impress

Scantily clad in a kilt that’s plaid

After the mid-date debriefings, the couple finishes their food and hangs out for another 30 minutes before getting back into the limo for the ride downtown.

As they’re dropped off at the Keating Hotel in the Gaslamp, they head downstairs to the Pussycat Dolls Dollhouse, a new burlesque-themed nightclub and dance revue from Robin Antin, creator of pop girl-group sensation, Pussycat Dolls.

Jessica Simpson, Carmen Electra and Pamela Anderson have been “Doll for the Day” at Antin’s Las Vegas venue, so perhaps a celeb (or unsuspecting blind daters) will take the stage tonight.

PacificSD: How was the Pussycat Dolls Dollhouse?
KERRYA: Seductive and sexy, with a touch of sass. I can’t wait to go back.
RYAN: It’s hard to complain when girls are walking around in lingerie.

How was being pulled up on stage?
KERRYA: Exhilarating and hilarious. I think my date was a little nervous - he wouldn’t let me use the whip.
RYAN: Scary. Kerrya seemed like she knew how to use that whip too well. Something told me bending over on stage while she had that whip and that look in her eye was a bad idea.

What happened after the magazine crew left?
KERRYA: We continued to mingle and enjoy the vibe at Dollhouse. We danced, drank and socialized. On the journey home, we shared a bottle of H2O.
RYAN: We left about 12:30 and headed home. We chatted on the ride back, but those shots definitely caught up with me by then. I was just trying not to say anything stupid at that point.

Was there a kiss?
KERRYA: Like I said before, I don’t kiss and tell.
RYAN: On the ride to the club, that third shot of tequila convinced me it would be a good Idea to give her a kiss. So I did. After about 10 seconds of making out with her cheek, I realized that tequila tells you to do dumb things. It wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t not awkward.

What was the funniest part of the date?
KERRYA: Our waiter’s “porn stash.” Scotty was awesome.
RYAN: Despite getting the welt on my butt, going on stage was pretty funny. The last thing a guy wants to hear is, “Bend over and grab the rail!”

Will there be a second date?
KERRYA:Maybe, he already was texting me today.
RYAN: If you asked me before the club, I would say “probably.” After the club, it’s more like a “maybe.”

AFTERMATCH: Whether it was his stray cat strut or the alcohol (or both), Ryan proved last night that he’s no scaredy cat. He risked the emotional pain of rejection by going in for a kiss, and then risked physical pain by offering up his backside to Kerry’s riding crop.

One question remains: Was it one of the real Pussycats or Kerry who yelled out, “Bend over and grab the rail”? This girl may not kiss and tell, and intimacy may indeed require her “dating him for a very long time,” but she sure seems to let her inhibitions down when she’s in the spotlight...not to mention holding a whip.

Final thoughts. Kerry: “Meow!” Ryan: “Me...ow!”

Pussycat Dolls Dollhouse
432 F St., Gaslamp