Great Sexpectations


By David Perloff

Taking your clothes off is easy; getting others to do it while people are watching can be less so. To ensure this eighth Valentines’ Day edition of the PacificSD blind date (86th date overall) earns at least a PG-13 rating, this evening’s romantic interlude begins with a half-naked photo shoot at The Boudoir Divas in Kearny Mesa.

Ayla was born in La Costa and now lives in Hillcrest. “San Diego native, Baby!” she says.

Spencer is from near Seattle and has been in San Diego for seven years. “I presently live in East Village, Downtown, at the Community @ Carnegie Building, which is a building my company owns,” he says.

Before the two arrive in the Epic Limo that picked them up at their homes about 30 minutes ago, let’s review the pre-date interviews.

PacificSD: What do you do for a living?

I play music for people. [Editor’s note: She’s a DJ]


I oversee design and construction for LWP Group, a local, boutique, design-oriented real estate development company. I absolutely love my job.

What do you do for fun?AYLA:

Midget racing. [Editor’s note: We think (hope) she’s referring to auto racing in mini cars]


All my family is in the Seattle area, so my friends are my family here in San Diego. I spend a lot of time with them, and you can often find us at an art gallery and design-oriented events around town.

What are you best at?AYLA:

Almost everything.


I love bringing people together, whether it’s a social or professional setting.

What do you suck at?AYLA:



Listening. I get excited about contributing to the conversation and focus on what I want to say rather than fully being present and listening to what the other person is saying.

What are you looking for in a date, physically and/or otherwise?AYLA:

Intelligent, ambitious, tall, dark and handsome. A sense of humor helps, too.


I prefer taller, good-looking, athletic women who are confident, smart and inspiring, but not arrogant.

Describe your special brand of sex appeal in five words or less.AYLA:

Smart, sultry, Scorpio diva.


I am who I am.

Rate yourself on a scale from one to 10 for looks.AYLA:


My mom thinks I’m cute.

Rate yourself on a scale from one to 10 for personality.AYLA:



My mom says I’m nice.

What’s your biggest fear?AYLA:

That a spider will be lurking underneath my sheets and crawl on me while I’m falling asleep.


Failing at my life aspirations.

How many people have you slept with?AYLA:

A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.



What’s the most important thing in the world?AYLA

: Bees.


My family, my health and my happiness.



Epic Limo

858.270.LIMO (5466)

Redd’s Apple Ale

Milagro Tequila


Ayla View

Say that three times fast

As they enter the boudoir photography studio, the daters head to wardrobe. They appear to be getting along well, talking and laughing while the stylist does Ayla’s hair and makeup for the shoot.

When Spencer emerges from the dressing room fully clothed, he’s followed a few minutes later by a largely disrobed Ayla, who’s ready to strike a pose. At the photographer’s request, he sheds his shirt without hesitation and joins Ayla in front of the camera. And in a flash, they’re a couple, capturing memories for a lifetime.

After 30 minutes of photos, they put their clothes back on and jump into the limo. Next up is a romantic fondue dinner at The Melting Pot in the Gaslamp, where they take a seat in a secluded booth for two. Once they’ve had a chance to talk over drinks and appetizers, they’re split for mid-date debriefings.

PacificSD: How’s it going so far?AYLA:

It’s going great, I’m having a good time.


Awesome, everything’s going really well. She’s an interesting person; she has something to say when I ask her thoughtful questions. There’s not just a superficial answer.

What were your first impressions?AYLA:

He was very handsome, very well dressed and had a good demeanor.


I realized that I knew her and even hung out with her once, but she’s very good-looking, and I was excited and happy to see her.

Is this the type of person you’d normally date?AYLA:

I would say so. Aesthetically, he’s definitely what I would go for, and he’s been very interesting and intriguing.


As things have gone on and I’ve gotten to know her, yeah.

What do you think of the way your date is dressed?AYLA:

I feel like he has a very good style and is very clean-cut and put together. I definitely applaud that.


She’s wearing a simple black outfit with a couple pops of color and bling. It’s subdued, but you can see what’s going on. It’s good.

How was your experience at The Boudoir Divas?AYLA:

It was so much fun. Seriously, just getting there and being pampered - it definitely played into my girly side. They did an amazing job on my makeup and my hair; I couldn’t feel sexier.


I felt like I was getting to see something that I shouldn’t have been able to see. Usually that’s something you get to see later in the night, but it was an interesting situation and it felt like a sneak preview. I was impressed by her confidence, which I found to be very attractive.

How did you look at the photo shoot?AYLA:

I feel very confident with the way that I looked, and very happy with the way The Boudoir Divas styled me.


I hope I looked good.

How did your date look?AYLA:

He looked exceptionally good; I was pretty impressed.


She looked f***ing amazing.

Who looked better?AYLA:

Me, of course.



What’s the most attractive thing your date has done so far?AYLA:

He looked really hot with his shirt off, I’ll say that. He’s been a gentleman the whole night, opening doors, pouring my drinks, helping me order, listening to what I want, just everything.


Be confident.

What’s the least attractive thing your date has done so far?AYLA:

Sometimes he’ll talk over me, so sometimes it’s hard to get a word in edgewise. It’s been a bit difficult to finish my sentences sometimes.



What would your parents say if you brought your date home?AYLA:

They would love him.


I think my mom would like her.

Rate your date on a scale from one to 10 for looks.AYLA:




How about for personality?AYLA:




Do you want to kiss your date now?AYLA:

He’s very kissable, but I have to get to know him more.



Does your date want to kiss you?AYLA:

I think he probably does.


I hope so.

The Boudoir Divas
10025 Huennekens St. Mira Mesa


Out For A Spin

The daters head to the boom-boom room

After the mid-date break, Ayla and Spencer finish dinner and walk over to BASSMNT, the new subterranean nightclub booming the Gaslamp underground. A prominent DJ herself, Ayla seems right at home in the VIP booth next to the stage.

As the couple sips cocktails by the LED wall, the magazine crew finally leaves them alone to enjoy the rest of their evening away from the cameras. The next morning, we call to see what we missed.

PacificSD: How was dinner at The Melting Pot?AYLA:

The food was delicious, and the restaurant had a nice ambiance. They seated us in a nice private booth, so it was a great space to talk.


Dinner was fun. I’d never been to The Melting Pot, and the ability to interact more with your food was different and entertaining. The nook we were in was very private and intimate and made for a great place not to be distracted by everything else going on in the restaurant.

What did you have to eat and drink?AYLA:

The California salad, and then a fondue pot with salmon, steak and veggies. I had some type of strawberry martini while he sipped tequila on the rocks.


We had a mixture of steak, salmon and shrimp that was cooked in a vegetable broth. It was really good. As for drinks, I stuck to drinking tequila on the rocks. I can’t remember exactly what she had, but it was some kind of martini cocktail.


BASSMNT was fun. It was pretty busy, filling up before Cosmic Gate went on. We sat at a table next to the DJ booth, so it was nice to get a front-row show. It was pretty rowdy in the crowd.


Sitting at the table next to the DJ offered an interesting point of view that would typically be reserved to someone performing there. It was cool to watch the DJ perform and see how he would observe and react to the crowd. Since Ayla is a DJ, too, I got to ask her a lot of questions about DJing, which is something I don’t know much about.

What happened after the magazine crew left?AYLA:

We had a couple more drinks at BASSMNT, and then finished the night at Syrah. We both lost our phones somehow, so we never actually got to call the limo driver to come back.


We met up with one of Ayla’s friends at Syrah. It turned out that it was a mutual friend, and we hung out there for a while. My phone went missing there, and Ayla discovered that her phone was also missing

How did the night end?

We both lost our phones and couldn’t call the limo, so we decided to walk to his place, which was nearby, to use Find My iPhone on his computer. He located his on GPS, but someone had already turned mine off. After another drink and more conversation, I had him walk with me to grab a cab and I went home.


She got a cab and I walked home.

When did you get home?AYLA:

Around 2:30 a.m.


I think it was about 1 a.m., but I’m not exactly sure.

Was there a kiss or romantic exchange?AYLA:

There was a connection between us, but I like to get to know someone before opening Pandora’s box.


According to a book my mom made me read on how to be a gentleman, you’re not supposed to talk about those kinds of things.

What would you change about your date to make him/her a better fit for you?AYLA:

He seemed to interrupt me frequently during conversation, so it wouldn’t hurt to enhance his listening skills.


I wouldn’t want to change anything about her, otherwise she wouldn’t be who she is. We should fit together without having to change, otherwise we would be in an inauthentic relationship.

What was the best part of the date?

Probably the photo shoot at Boudoir Divas. I’ve never done anything like that with a date, and it was fun. Definitely gave me a rush.


The moment when she stepped out of the dressing room totally done up, wearing what she was wearing and looking the way she did, was definitely the highlight for me.

What was the worst part of the date?AYLA:

When I discovered that I lost my iPhone, and then he went to call it and discovered he lost his also.


Hands down, us both being separated from our phones.

Will there be a second date?AYLA:

I could be open to a second date.


I hope there will be a second date.

AFTERMATCH: What happened at the end of the night remains hazy. Ayla said, “We decided to walk to his place.” Spencer said, “She got a cab, and I walked home.” While both statements may be true, mystery lingers.

Whether or not these two become valentines, there’s at least a chance for more romance. As Spencer put it, “I hope there will be a second date.” If his wish comes true, perhaps he’ll do a little more listening the next time around. A blind date that begins with lingerie and ends with searching for lost phones in one of the daters’ apartments feels like success... if not the sexcess we had planned for.

The Melting Pot
901 Fifth Ave., Gaslamp

919 Fourth Ave., Gaslamp


Click here

to buy a date with Spencer for Valentine’s Day, when he’ll be up for bids at a bachelor auction for charity.*