Facing the Facts

By David Perloff
Photos by Brevin Blach

Jordanne is an account executive at Olive PR Solutions. She grew up in Reno, Nevada, and now lives in Hillcrest. Chris owns OEX La Jolla, a water sports adventure company. He hails from Modesto, California, lives in Pacific Beach and was voted California’s 2011 Bachelor of the Year by readers of Cosmopolitan.

The blind daters-to-be have never met, but Barbara Roberts already knows their future.

“The sexual chemistry between them as facial opposites will be very electric, as they are both passionate, powerful people,” says Roberts, a professional face reader. “After the first few dates, I’d be surprised if this romance progresses. Who they are and what they want in a long-term match is so different.”

During her 25-year career, Roberts has evaluated more than 6,000 faces. She has appeared on the “Tyra Banks Show” and “NBC Nightly News,” and has presented more than 300 seminars for clients including the US Navy, Wells Fargo and the City of San Diego. Given PacificSD’s dismal recent track-record of making blind dates work out for the daters (although catastrophes sure are fun to watch), we sent Roberts photos of Jordanne and Chris in advance of their date to see if they’d be a good match. Her expert analysis:

Jordanne has a wide mouth, which means generous, affectionate, warm heart. The rounding of her eyes, full cheeks and her naso-labial lines, the lines that circle her nose to her mouth in a “U” shape, convey a person gifted in verbal communications. Low-set eyebrows also means she is friendly. The width between her nose to ears reveal a responsible, creative person committed to her work.

Chris’ face is angular, with his square forehead line: works hard at his job; and his thick, arched eyebrows: artistic, very intense about what he wants and will or will not do. His dimples show playful chemistry, and the ball on the chin means high sex drive, passionate, sensual and love of life.

The chemistry here is the passion for life and the love both have for adventure. Travel, rock climbing, something thrilling and fun would draw them. But will they last the day-to-day aspects of developing a deep friendship and long-term love relationship after the first dates?
My vote is “No.”

We should have sent Roberts the photos last week. Now, it’s too late-Jordanne and Chris are already in the limo that’s about to drop them off at Splash wine lounge in North Park. Quick, before they arrive, let’s review the pre-date interviews.

PacificSD: What do you do for fun?
JORDANNE: I like listening to live music, hanging with my fam, traveling and being outdoors. Hike, swim, paddle-anything that has to do with the ocean, I love.
CHRIS: I work at the beach everyday and, sad to say, I love it so much that on my off days I’ll be surfing or playing beach volleyball.

What are you looking for in a date?
JORDANNE: I’m looking for someone that I feel comfortable with, someone who makes me laugh until I cry and someone I am physically attracted to.
CHRIS: Physically fit, mentally tough and a voice like an angel.

What’s the best thing that could happen during the date?
JORDANNE: We could have a great time and live happily ever after.
CHRIS: We run into Turtle from Entourage, and he asks us to join him and the rest of the crew. Next thing you know, we’re on Kanye West’s private jet (probably a G6) headed to Tokyo (with a layover in Hawaii) to see Lenny Kravitz.

What’s the worst thing that could happen?
JORDANNE: I could throw up on my date, literally ON my date.
CHRIS: I pee my pants like I did in the third grade, because my teacher wouldn’t let me go. But this time, it’s because the photographer won’t let me go. Then my new girlfriend laughs at me, and I run out of the restaurant crying.

Feeling Vine

The date gets off to a grape start

Jordanne and Chris arrive at Splash for wine tasting. They appear to be getting along famously as they talk over food, smiling and laughing amid frequent visits to futuristic wine-dispensers that look like something out of a Star Wars movie.

After getting acquainted for about an hour, they head to dinner at Wang’s, North Park’s enormous new Asian Fusion restaurant. Once they’ve had a chance to try their appetizers and enjoy a first round of drinks, they’re split for mid-date debriefings.

PacificSD: How’s it going so far?
JORDANNE: It’s going great. He’s seems fun and nice and all that good stuff.
CHRIS: It’s good, it’s great, it’s fun. I can’t complain; it’s awesome.

What were your first impressions of your date?
JORDANNE: I was pleasantly surprised. He was attractive. We got along right away. He seemed nice.
CHRIS: She’s cute, she’s smart, she seems like a good girl. I live in PB. Let’s be honest, I don’t meet a lot of good, smart girls in PB. (Editor’s note: looks like someone may have trouble hooking up at the beach this summer.)

Is your date fun to talk with?
JORDANNE: Yeah, we’ve been talking a lot about work, ‘cause he owns his own kayaking business. I love what he does, ‘cause it’s what I like to do in my spare time. It’s easy for me to help him think of marketing ideas, so we’ve been talking a lot about work.
CHRIS: Yeah, I’d say she’s definitely fun, definitely interesting. She’s traveled, studying for the GMAT, got a good head on her shoulders. She was telling me about her time in South Africa, so that’s pretty cool. And I was in South Africa.

Is this the type of person you’d normally date?
JORDANNE: I don’t think so. He’s a little bit more intelligent than the guy I would normally go for [laughs]. I think he’s really interesting.
CHRIS: Yeah, I definitely try to date girls who have a goal, who aren’t, no offense, hairdressers and waitresses. She’s going to apply for her masters in marketing, I think she said.

How was Splash?
JORDANNE: It was so cool; the food was amazing. It’s really unique and different. The machines are cool-you can try more expensive wines for cheaper prices. I liked it a lot.
CHRIS: It’s awesome. For sure, I would definitely take a girl there. Probably wouldn’t go with my buddies, but I’d take a girl there.

What’s the most attractive thing that you’re date has done so far?
JORDANNE: That he was California’s most eligible bachelor.
CHRIS: I’m not sure. She laughs a lot at my jokes, so that’s a good thing.

What would your parents say?
JORDANNE: All they would care about is if he was a golfer or not, so as long as he can golf, he’s good to go.
CHRIS: They wouldn’t have a bad thing to say.

Rate your date on a scale from 1-10 in terms of looks.
JORDANNE: Probably like an eight.
CHRIS: 8.5.

How about for personality?
CHRIS: 9.5.

Do you want to kiss your date right now?
JORDANNE: Maybe at the end of the date, not right now.
CHRIS: Only time will tell.

If you had to choose between leaving now with $100 cash or staying and making out with your date in the booth at Wang’s, what would you do?
JORDANNE: I would probably take the $100 and then go on one of his kayak tours-and then make out with him.
CHRIS: I would stay; it’s a good time.

A Kiss Before Lying

The daters’ lips are least when the photographer’s around

Jordanne’s into water sports-just like Chris, who’s a “little bit more intelligent” than the guys she’s used to dating. And she isn’t a hairdresser or waitress, which appeals to Chris. So far, so good.

Will the ball on Chris’ chin be a good fit Jordanne’s naso-labial lines? (Mind out of the gutter-we’re talking about faces here.) Not for long, if you ask Barbara Roberts, but we just need some magic to happen tonight. To speed that plow, we leave the daters alone for the rest of the evening and call the next morning to see what we missed.

How was dinner?
JORDANNE: Wang’s was really cool. I like the atmosphere. I couldn’t get over the fact that it used to be a Big Lots. We had specialty cocktails, chicken, fried rice and some appetizers. The food was great.
CHRIS: It’s the biggest Asian Fusion restaurant that I’ve ever been to-great food, a trendy atmosphere and lots of style. We ate orange chicken, dumplings, fried rice. I also had a Mule and this cool Buddha beer in a Buddha bottle.

What happened after the magazine crew left you alone?
JORDANNE: We went back to Splash and had some more wine and dessert, then the limo dropped me off at home.
CHRIS: We finished eating at Wang’s, then went back over to Splash.

What was the best part of the date?
JORDANNE: The best part of the date was the post-date dessert. He ordered red velvet cake based on something I had said earlier in the night, which I thought was very sweet.
CHRIS: Splash-awesome concept, cool atmosphere.

What was the worst part of the date?
JORDANNE: The pre-date anticipation.
CHRIS: I had to get up early this morning to make it to work.

Was there a kiss?
JORDANNE: A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.
CHRIS: I don’t know. Did you see anything?

Will there be a second date?
JORDANNE: Only if he takes me whale watching.
CHRIS: I’m sure we’ll hang out.

Upon closer analysis, PacificSD’s tireless matchmaking crew concludes: “No” means “No” (unless you’re R. Kelly). “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell,” actually means, “Yes, we kissed.” At least that’s what we’ve gleaned from conducting 63 blind dates.

Epic Limo’s invoice says Jordanne and Chris were dropped off at home just before 2 a.m. That’s a lot wine tasting. Professional physiognomic analysis aside, we read between the lines (on the daters’ faces) to determine what really happened late last night.

We imagine at least one of the daters grabbed some Wang’s...not to mention take-out Chinese. A happy ending, indeed.

Thank You!

Barbara Roberts
For an in-person analysis of your face (or your partner’s or someone else’s partner), visit Barbara Roberts’ website, Roberts’ book, Face Reading: How to Know Anyone at a Glance, is available for purchase on the site (paperback, PDF, iPad) and on

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North Park

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