Celibate Good Times! C’mon On!


By Megan Looney

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word “virgin”? The Madonna song? Olive oil? An airline?

How about: “Me”?

I am one. My friends joke that I go on the most dates and get the least amount of ass. But I have my reasons. I want to save sex for the one man I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

Plus, it acts as a great filter. What’s the easiest way to get rid of a booty-caller? Tell him you’re a virgin.

The ball-breaker for me has always been how to play the V-Card. “Hi, my name’s Megan, and I’m virgin,” sucks as an icebreaker. But if people didn’t know about my locked-up loins before reading this, they will now. I hope the handful of men who’ve spread rumors that they’ve slept with me see this (even if they did say I was great in bed).

The most awkward, unplanned celibacy conversation took place when I was lying on top of my then- crush, passionately making-out on his bed. My purity necklace kept hitting him in the face. It ruined the intimate moment - and our relationship.

People have said: “Sex is like a car; you have to go for a test drive before you buy.” Well, I am not a four-door sedan. You can’t drive me around, and then trade me in when my engine starts rattling.

People have tried to talk me out of being a 26-year-old virgin: men, friends, family, strangers, bartenders. It’s like people take personal offense that I am choosing not to have sex.

At the age of 14, I knew I wanted to wait until marriage. Let’s just say that the older I get, the harder it becomes. We’ve all heard abstinence causes “blue balls,” but did you know women can get it to? Trust me. I’ve sung the blues.

What most people don’t know is that someone who hasn’t had intercourse still gets horny, still likes to be sexy, can enjoy the chase and can experience passion. I am still a sexual being, just without the sex.

Note to future husband: I have 20-plus years of pent-up of sexual energy. For now, rest up.

Megan Looney is a 20-something writer, and a lover of craft beer and all things Will Ferrell. She blogs at