Getting through difficult times with Monica the Medium

Monica Ten-Kate (also known as Monica the Medium).
Monica the Medium.

Monica Ten-Kate (also known as Monica the Medium) knew she had a gift from an early age.

“I was always very intuitive and empathic growing up, but it wasn’t until high school that I discovered I had this gift,” she explains. “Around the age of 15, I began to realize that my empathic tendencies were accompanied by an overwhelming sense of feelings, flashes of images, and voices that I would later learn were ‘Spirit’ communicating.”

The “Spirit” Monica the Medium refers to is what she calls the souls of those who have passed on to the “Other Side.” She hesitates to refer to them as dead people.

“The reality is, they aren’t dead at all,” she says.

“Being a medium is essentially like being a translator between this world and the ‘Spirit World.’ One of the main reasons ‘Spirit’ come through is because they want us to understand they are still very much alive, even if it’s in a way that looks different from how it did before. They want to support us from heaven. They want to give us reassurance that they are okay. They want to help us heal and to provide closure. Sometimes, ‘Spirit ‘wants to offer apologies or answers to those burning questions that make us feel as though we can’t find peace. And, sometimes, they just want to say, ‘Hi, I’m here.’”

Originally from Northern Virginia, Ten-Kate and her fiancé have called San Diego home since 2015. She’s known as the star of her own reality show on the Freeform network (formerly ABC Family) called “Monica the Medium,” which ran for two seasons from 2015 to 2016.

On the show, Monica the Medium dealt with the normal, everyday pressures of being a college student coupled with the added pressure that being a medium can bring. And while she now has her hands full with a podcast (“Wine & Spirits with Monica the Medium”) and her first book, “Messages from Above: What Your Loved Ones in Heaven Want You to Know,” she made some time to chat about the reality of life now during the pandemic, and what we can learn during this time from those who’ve passed on.

What kinds of answers are people looking for right now, in light of the pandemic, and what kinds of messages have you been receiving from the ‘Other Side?’

I receive tons of messages from people every day, and during this quarantine period I’ve noticed that more than ever, people are reaching out to me with questions about what happens when we die. I’ve also noticed there’s been a lot of people seeking clarity as far as why this is happening and how it’s going to turn out in the long-term. People are looking for answers. There’s already so much fear, anxiety and uncertainty that people are feeling right now, so it’s no surprise they’re searching for any bit of clarity or understanding.

Unfortunately, I don’t have all the answers (that won’t happen for me or anyone else until the day we cross over to the ‘Other Side’), but if there’s one thing I’ve learned through my work, it’s that there’s no such thing as meaningless suffering. There’s always a greater purpose to both the triumphs and the struggles that we face. There’s always a greater meaning to the experiences we go through during this journey called life. It’s all part of our growth; not just as individuals, but also as a collective.

‘Spirit’ has been really adamant about wanting to bring comfort and clarity to those who are grieving the loss of someone right now, particularly if they weren’t able to be by their side at the time of their passing because of the restrictions that are currently in place at many hospitals due to COVID-19.

If you’ve been forced to cancel or postpone a funeral or memorial service because of COVID-19, please know that your loved ones in Spirit have a complete understanding of everything going on and are in full support of any and all choices you have to make surrounding their death and how they are laid to rest (even if it differs from what they may have requested or wanted before their passing). Also, please don’t beat yourself up over words unspoken. I promise you nothing was left unsaid. Know that your loved one is very much aware of everything you feel and want them to know, regardless of whether it was ever spoken out loud or not.

As far as your loved one is concerned, there is no unfinished business. They have all the perspective they need. If you feel the need to be forgiven, you have been forgiven. If you’ve been holding on to guilt or regret, I promise your loved ones only want for you to let that go. They have nothing but love for you and they want you to fully trust that they’re okay.

What lessons can we learn from the pandemic?

There are so many lessons we can learn from this, especially when it comes to appreciating the basic things so many of us tend to take for granted.

This pandemic is teaching us to embrace the unknown and to have faith even in times of uncertainty. Oftentimes, the most soul growth comes from not having all the answers. If we all knew exactly how everything would turn out, it’d be like having the answers to a test before taking it. We are constantly growing, learning and evolving from all of our experiences — the good, bad and ugly. We wouldn’t gain the same lessons if we always knew what comes next. All we can do is take things one day at a time.

It’s also worth mentioning that while this pandemic is physically separating many of us from friends and family, it can actually bring us emotionally closer to one another at the same time. Even if you’re physically separated, the love and bond you share can never be broken. Use this time as an opportunity to come even closer together. Use this time to reflect on what really matters. For many people, this lockdown is teaching us to be more present. It’s a reminder that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. It’s a reminder to live your life now. Never once has ‘Spirit’ told me they wish they worked harder. What I have heard, many times, is that they wish they spent more time with their loved ones or let the people they loved know how they felt.

Spirit has communicated to me time and time again that in our last moments we aren’t thinking about the amount of money we made, what car we drove or how many followers we had on Instagram. So many of us get caught up in what society tells us is the meaning of success or happiness. But the reality is that for those who come face-to-face with death, the only thing on their minds and hearts are the people they are leaving behind here in the physical world and the love that they have for them.

Where can readers find/follow you?

They can follow @MonicatheMedium on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. I also have an Instagram page called @SignsfromSpirit dedicated to sharing uplifting stories of signs from the “Other Side,” or as I like to call them, “Hellos from Heaven.”

They can also subscribe to my newsletter on my website,, to be notified of future events, online courses and workshops, podcasts, free reading giveaways and more.