Just because the economy sucks is no reason to mope around America's Finest City this summer. Sure, we may all lose our jobs and houses and have to move to Santee, but at least there's no June Gloom out there.
Not feeling the red and white, but just blue? Turn that frown upside down with this list of things to do to make it a killer July in San Diego:
• Go up to a guy dressed as a Klingon outside Comic-Con and say, "Dude, that's the worst Darth Vader outfit I've ever seen!"
• Light some sparklers and watch how fast the cops show up.
• Turn those extra resumes into a hat, then bet your life savings on a long shot at Opening Day at Del Mar.
• Get your straight friends to take off their shirts at Pride.
...Which reminds me of a joke my dad used to tell-
This guy is striking out with the girls on the beach. He walks up to them; they walk away. Then he notices another guy, who isn't any better looking than he is, but who's got women swarming around him. When he sees a break, he goes up to the guy.
"Hey, what's your secret? What do you do to make all the ladies come to you?"
The other guys says, "I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone else. All you do is put a potato in your bathing suit. The women will go crazy."
The first guy takes the other guy's advice, but things get worse. Now, women run from him before he even gets close enough to say hi. He sees the other guy on the beach and walks up to him.
"Hey, I did what you said with the potato, but the women still don't like me."
And the other guy says, "Try putting the potato in front next time."
Summer is here-time to get out there and have some fun. Stuff your face, stuff your Speedo, have a blast!
(Don't forget the SPF.)