Tim Lambesis, the former singer in the San Diego Christian metalcore rock band As I Lay Dying, on Monday apologized for the first time for having solicited murder by hiring a hitman in 2013 to try to kill his now ex-wife.
Lambesis, 37, made his apology late Monday afternoon on As I Lay Dying’s Facebook page. He was paroled last year after serving two years of a six-year sentence, which followed his early 2014 guilty plea on a felony murder solicitation charge. He has now completed his parole requirements.
“I’ve remained silent to the public since expressing remorse at my sentencing because time seemed like the best way to promote healing,” Lambesis wrote in his lengthy statement on Facebook. “Today marks the first opportunity to freely apologize without any motivation to gain favor from the courts, as I have now completed the entirety of my legal sentence (including the completion of all parole/probation requirements). Let it be clear that no amount of time served can right my wrongs ...
“Words cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused. There is no defense for what I did, and I look back on the person I became with as much disdain as many of you likely do.”
Lambesis pleaded guilty in February 2014 to hiring a hitman to kill his wife, after telling two people at a Carlsbad gym the previous year that he wanted to “get rid of her.”
His wife, Meggan, had filed for divorce in 2012, citing “irreconcilable differences.” The couple has three children, all of whom were adopted from Ethiopia.
On May 7, 2013, Lambesis met in Oceanside with a man whom Lambesis believed was a hitman named “Red” but was, in fact, an undercover detective.
Lambesis told the man he wanted his wife “gone,” then gave him an envelope with $1,000, photos of his estranged wife, her address and the access code for a security gate. Lambesis had been told the cost of the murder would be $20,000 and indicated he was willing to pay that amount.
Deputy District Attorney Claudia Grasso said in court that Lambesis had previously told his wife of eight years in an email that he no longer loved her and no longer believed in God.
Lambesis was an obsessive body-builder. His attorney, Thomas Warwick, had said that his client’s “thought processes were devastatingly affected by his steroid use.”
Writing on Facebook, Lambesis said: “First, I apologize to my former wife and remarkable children for my appalling actions. There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t wish I could undo the damage I caused, and out of respect for their wishes I will not discuss anything else about them (now or in the future).
“I also ask anyone reading this to promote healing for them by respecting their privacy and defending them from any negativity or anger which should be directed towards me. I was the sole offender and the only one to blame for everything that happened."
His apology extends beyond his family.
"This is an ongoing sentence many of you serve because of me,” Lambesis wrote. “I am so sorry to my friends who were betrayed by everything I hid from them and all the hardships I caused people who used to work with me. Band mates, road crew, managers, attorneys, agents, (record) label people, and more all had to suffer through many unexpected changes because of my actions.
“While they were dealing with the aftermath of my arrest, I responded toward many of them with bitterness that I should have directed toward myself. I know that I can’t undo the animosity I brought their way, but I hope to mend what I can now as time goes on …
"Let it be clear that no amount of time served can right my wrongs. I do not feel deserving of a second chance and am not asking for anyone’s trust. The way many people feel about me makes sense, and only time will tell if my future actions line up with my remorse, something I pray for every day. In the last five years, the ripple effect of all my actions has extended further than a written statement can address. Thus, I will continue to apologize in both words and actions moving forward."